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callunavulgari · 4 years ago

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Scrapbook 2021 | Part I

For anyone that’s new to this, this is how I keep track of all of the things I enjoy and/or create throughout the year. I have literally been doing this since I had a livejournal. I think the first one was 2011? Maybe? In which case, woohoo, ten years of scrapbooking!

It’s a nice little snippet of my life and helps to organize my brain.

A reminder:

Normal font - Indifferent/Neutral Italicized font - Enjoyed bold font - Loved with an asterisk* - All time favorite (bracketed titles) - Re-watches/Re-reads strikethough - Disliked

Goals are: read 80 books, finish five video games, write more than 20 fics or something larger than 20k, and write either an original short story or start a novel.

Past Years

MOVIES

January

(Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring)

(Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers)

(Lord of the Rings: Return of the King)

Robin Hood

(Hook)

Wolfwalkers

February

(Age of Ultron)

From Up On Poppy Hill

(Tangled)

(Onward)

(The Mummy)

(Hercules)

(Promare)

March

Raya and the Last Dragon

(My Neighbor Totoro)

April

(Hunchback of Notre Dame)

(Tarzan)

(Beauty and the Beast)

Weathering With You

BOOKS

January

A Deadly Education | Naomi Novak [Fin]

Home Body | Rupi Kaur [Fin]

The Sunken Mall | K.D. Edwards [Fin]

Bloom | Kevin Panetta [Fin]

The Angel of Crows | Katherine Addison

All the Stars and Teeth | Adalyn Grace [Fin]

The Adventure Zone: Vol 1 | McElroys & Carey Pietsch [Fin]

I Hope You Stay | Courtney Peppernell [Fin]

Pillow Thoughts | Courtney Peppernell [Fin]

Piraneesi | Susanna Clarke [Fin]

The Ex Talk | Rachel Lynn Solomon [Fin]

February

The Adventure Zone: Vol 2 | McElroys & Carey Pietsch [Fin]

The Adventure Zone: Vol 3 | McElroys & Carey Pietsch [Fin]

The Angel of Crows | Katherine Addison

Alice Isn’t Dead | Joseph Fink

March

Winter’s Orbit | Everina Maxwell [Fin]

Fireheart Tiger | Aliette de Bodard [Fin]

Alice Isn’t Dead | Joseph Fink

Fire | Kristin Cashore [Fin]

Bitterblue | Kristin Cashore [Fin]

The Witch’s Heart | Genevieve Gornichec [Fin]

Winterkeep | Kristin Cashore

April

Alice Isn’t Dead | Joseph Fink [Fin]

Winterkeep | Kristin Cashore [Fin]

The Memory Theater | Karin Tidbeck [Fin]

These Violent Delights | Chloe Gong

(Red White and Royal Blue | Casey Mcquiston) [Fin]

Rule of Wolves | Leigh Bardugo [Fin]

Alice Isn’t Dead | Joseph Fink [Fin]

Not the Girl You Marry | Andie Christopher [Fin]

The Echo Wife | Sarah Gailey [Fin]

The Midnight Library | Matt Haig

Catherine House | Elisabeth Thomas [Fin]

Séance Tea Party | Reimena Yee [Fin]

Lumberjanes vol 1 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]

PODCASTS

January

The Unseen, Christmas and New Year Special

The Penumbra Podcast, Juno Steel arc, Heart of It All and What Lies Beyond

The Penumbra Podcast, Second Citadel, Strong Arm of Justice and The Priestess’ Fortune

I Am In Eskew, Episode 16

Welcome to Night Vale, Episode 67, 68, and 69

The Magnus Archives, Episode 190 and 191

February

The Magnus Archives, Episode 192-194

The Adventure Zone, Episodes 15-60

March

The Magnus Archives, Episode 194-200 [Fin]

The Adventure Zone, Episodes 60-TAZ BALANCE ENDING

MBMBAM, Episode 1

I Am In Eskew, Episode 17-22

April

I Am In Eskew, Episode 23-END

Alice Isn’t Dead, Episode 18-END

TV SHOWS BY SEASON

January

His Dark Materials, s2 [Fin]

Watcher Entertainment

Buzzfeed Worth It

(Black Sails, s1)

The Queen’s Gambit**

February

Cherry Magic

Wandavision, s1

Watcher Entertainment

The Owl House

(Little Witch Academia)

Star vs the Forces of Evil, s3, s4

Bridgerton

Buzzfeed Unsolved: True Crime

Heaven’s Official Blessing

March

Wandavision, s1 [Fin]

Watcher Entertainment, Puppet History & Watcher Weekly

Falcon and the Winter Soldier

Word of Honor

April

Word of Honor, s1

Watcher Entertainment, Puppet History

Falcon and the Winter Soldier, s1

Kim’s Convenience, s1, 2, 3, 4

Leverage, s4

Shadow and Bone, s1

The Great, s1

VIDEO GAMES

January

Hades, 37 hours [Fin]

Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla, 35 hours

February

Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla, 35 hours

Hades, 75+ hours?

Animal Crossing: New Horizons, 16 hours

Persona 5 Royal

March

Animal Crossing: New Horizons, 45 hours

Persona 5 Royal, 141 hours

Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla, 35 hours

Concrete Genie, 3 hours

April

Concrete Genie, 6 hours [Fin]

Animal Crossing: New Horizons, 65 hours

Persona 5 Royal, 160 hours

Monster Hunter Rise, 2 hours

Civ, 5 hours

DELIGHTFUL FIC

January

Modern Rustic by beethechange | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 22k | “I think,” he says, finally, “that if we looked around this place hard enough, we’d find a rose underneath a—a glass thing, what’s it called—losing petals. Metaphorically.”

easy livin' by sarcasticfishes | Buzzfeed Unsolved (Fallout AU) | Ryan/Shane | 6k | The Wasteland - and Ryan - through Shane's eyes.

(in nocte consiliam by oxymoronic | Bartimaeus | Bartimaeus/Nathaniel | 4k | London, 2003. Britain is on the brink of war, and someone is trying rather hard to kill John Mandrake.)

made of glass the way you see through me by uneventfulhouses | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 19k | Will it always be like this? Ryan wonders, watching Shane lope up the snowy walkway and pushing his way through the front door, humming some jolly old tune in that way Shane’s prone to do. Theatrical, performing for an audience even though Ryan is the only one around.

All Your Stars In View by alpha_exodus | Harry Potter | Draco/Harry | 18k | Life after the war is difficult for Harry, especially when the only thing that makes him feel better is, oddly enough, being around Malfoy. So when Malfoy asks to paint his portrait, Harry can't refuse, even if it means baring himself in more ways than one.

13 Genuinely Awful Things About Steven by thefourthvine | Buzzfeed Worth It | Steven/Andrew | 10k | Andrew’s learned to like cake, he’s learned to like oysters, and he’s learned to like Steven.

we’ll make a brand new start of it (in old new york) by misantlery | Buzzfeed Worth It | Steven/Andrew | 10k | “Just to be clear,” Andrew says. “You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend at a party to spite your high school bully and your high school girlfriend and possibly the entire state of Ohio?”

Russian Roulette Croquembouche by misantlery | Buzzfeed Worth It | Andrew/Steven | 9k | “Get that on your business card,” Andrew advises. “Steven Lim, video producer, world traveler, fancy dessert boy. Human cream puff.”

rose-colored boy by juniperProse | Buzzfeed Worth It | Steven/Andrew | 2k | Andrew’s eyes are pink.

Like Wildfire by makemadej | Watcher Entertainment | Shane/Ryan | 20k | “Is this gonna be a thing with you?” Ryan demands. “You can’t keep committing to stuff that no one else knows about! When people online say they want you to be more open and vulnerable, this is not what they mean.”

Scratching the Itch by bendingsignpost | Doctor Who | Rose/Ten | 20k | Her mum had always told her that blokes had only one thing on their minds, but this was taking it to an entirely new level.

lie back and let me unlock you by Lise | The Untamed | Xiao Xingchen/Xue Yang | 7k | Xiao Xingchen, reluctantly, admits to certain fantasies that he has. His friend is happy to indulge him.

in our respective ways by Lise | The Untamed | Jiang Cheng & Lan Wangji | 6k | Jiang Cheng has his golden core back. But he seems to have lost Wei Wuxian.

By Proxy by Lise | The Untamed | Jiang Cheng/Lan Wangji | 12k | Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji, looking for comfort in all the wrong places.

some good mistakes by Lise | The Untamed | Jiang Cheng & Lan Wangji | 18k | Or, the one where Wei Wuxian vanishes and Lan Wangji, reluctantly, asks for Jiang Cheng's help tracking him down.

efforts in a common cause by Lise | The Untamed | Xiao Xingchen/Xue Yang/Song Lan | 12k | Everybody's walked out of Yi City alive. Now it's just three badly adjusted adults (and one badly adjusted teenager) trying to make things work - a project somewhat derailed by a night hunt that turns out to be something else.

swinger of birches by astronicht | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 23k | Lan Zhan is a little witch in the house on the hill, whispering out a love curse. Wei Ying is a witch undead, undone.

let me desecrate you by hkafterdark | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 6k | “Dangerous words.” Wei Wuxian drew back. The flickering candlelight gave him an otherworldly appearance; that, and his beauty, unchanged since the first time Lan Wangji had seen him. “You aren’t afraid to be at the mercy of the fearsome Yiling laozu?”

The Demon Affair by stereobone | Yu Yu Hakusho | Hiei/Kurama | 9k | Kurama accidentally seduces Hiei into a relationship.

i came to win (and i won) by paperclipbitch | The Queen’s Gambit | Beth/Benny | 3k | They play chess, and they fuck.The two things are not the same.

February

Sylvain Gautier Would Love To Try To Solve All Your Problems Through Sex (Hey It Might Help) by Fall Out Boy by harriet_vane | Fire Emblem: Three Houses | Sylvain/Felix | 22k | In which Sylvain wakes up on the wrong tour bus, and refuses to be their sex therapist (unless Felix asks nicely)

μήτηρ, in the Greek by antistar_e (kaikamahine) | Hades | Nyx & Persephone, canon relationships | 37k | At the end of this recounting, she tilted her head and asked politely, Is this not how you have children?Uh, no, said Persephone.

that voodoo that you do so well by veterization | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 18k | Ryan buys a voodoo potion oil at Voodoo Authentica meant to attract Yummy Boys. Appropriately, things happen.

A Bridge Between by Runespoor | Spirited Away | Gen | 3k | Years later, Chihiro moves into a new apartment; her parents help.

the ghost king's bride by arahir | Tian Guan Ci Fu | Hua Cheng/Xie Lian | 10k | Ghosts won't stop giving Xie Lian flowers, Hua Cheng won't stop teasing, and Xie Lian is out here doing his best, man.

Side bitch out of your league by rohkeutta | Captain America | Steve/Bucky | 3k | “I tried to call Sam,” Captain America says, bewildered. He’s sprinting like Usain Bolt and doesn’t sound even a little out of breath. Fucker. “Who’re you?”

cause in your warmth (I forget how cold it can be) by madnessandbrilliance | Promare | Lio/Galo | 7k | Lio is always freezing. Galo is always warm. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the rest.

backdraft by broments | Promare | Lio/Galo | 32k | It happens in an instant, Galo gaping like an idiot while Lio presses forward to defend against the perceived threat, the weapon sparkling but not burning as it kisses Galo's throat.

Yosuke will now die for you! by DragonBandit | Persona 4 | Yosuke/Souji | 5k | ...This, causes problems.

dramamine by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xue Yang | 7k | Song Lan is having a bad morning. Help comes from the last person he'd expect: Xue Yang.

Hearth and Home by lady_ragnell | Leverage | Alec/Eliot/Parker | 1k | When Eliot goes to a temple, or when he’s in one place long enough to build a shrine, he doesn’t do it for Ares. He does it for Hestia.

Where One Ends and the Other Begins by kalliopeia | Leverage | Alec/Parker/Eliot | 30k | Nobody’s particularly shocked when the job goes spectacularly sideways because their loot turns out to be magic. Parker and Eliot begin reading each other’s minds, accidental sharing happens, and shenanigans result.

Hungry Thirsty Roots by coolkidroland | Persona 5 | Akechi/Akira | 56k | In which Akira absolutely does not learn to leave well enough alone. **

Without Grasping Yet by Angelic_Ascent | Persona 5 | Akechi/Akira | 8k | Akechi and Akira end up far too cramped for comfort in the Morgana bus. And then they're left alone in Mementos.

Falling Up by KivaEmber | Persona 5 | Akechi/Akira | 2k | “If it helps…” Akira spoke up suddenly, his tone morbidly amused, “I forgive you, for shooting me in the face.”

March

Touch of Forbidden by tirsynni | LoZ | Ganondorf/Link | 2k | Nabooru warned him not to travel to the Spirit Temple. So of course Link went to the Spirit Temple.

breaking the same old heart by tardigradeschool | The Adventure Zone | Magnus/Taako | 11k | Taako and Magnus in triptych: before, during, and after the Bureau.**

your head is good, it’s loyal, it’s clean by Anonymous | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 4k | "Here, I do this all the time."Too quickly for him to react, Taako plucks away one of his golden rings and slips it onto the ring finger of Magnus' left hand.

bruising kisses, whispered confessions by tangerine_skye | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 3k | The trio stop over at an inn for the night. Taako and Magnus share a bed.

i can see what's coming (but i'm not saying it) by pansywaist | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 3k | His breath is still hot on Taako's lips, distracting enough he almost misses the strained whisper: “I thought I was gonna lose you.”

Emergency Consolation in the Pocket Spa by Anonymous | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 3k | If Magnus wants to hug a wizard, Magnus gets to hug a wizard.

together for the long haul by kismetNemesis | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 6k | Magnus and Taako were married on a bright spring day in the year after they saved the world.

thin skin, bruises, and a cold cup of tea by GayFrankensteinsMonster | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 3k | Sleep is for the weak, and Magnus has no weaknesses, except for his own natural curiosity.

tender is the night by dollylux | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 10k | “It’s just…” He runs a hand through the thick bramble of his hair, gripping the crown of it to anchor himself. He sighs, slumping back against the footboard. “I guess I’m just not very good at one on one. Like, not… not in any way.”

a note is attached to the top of the vial by GayFrankensteinsMonster | TAZ | Kravitz/Taako, Magnus/Taako | 5k | Elves have a lifespan of up to six hundred years. The people that you know don't even come close to that.

Pieces of Memory and Heart by ellemaris | Raya and the Last Dragon | Raya/Namaari | 1k | Raya isn't sure how to heal everything between Heart and Fang, but returning something important to Namaari seems like a start.

the gods laugh by miss_aphelion | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | 11k+ | WIP | Wei Wuxian is just getting used to being alive again when he's ripped from the world he knows. He wakes in a place where his sister and her husband live, where his brother doesn't hate him, where the Wen remnants have all survived.

In Your Room, In Your Bed by giraffeter | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji/Jiang Cheng | 25k | After Wei Ying is disowned, Yu Ziyuan forbids Jiang Cheng from letting Wei Ying live with him. Jiang Cheng lets him stay anyway because Fuck That. He tells his parents Lan Zhan is his new roommate instead.

in the blossom season (in the pouring rain) by varnes | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | 14k | “Doctor Flowers,” Lan Zhan repeats, pointing at the tiny plum tree, just to confirm that his son is suggesting a magical tree named Doctor Flowers sprouted overnight and made their tame family project turn into a verdant jungle.

34 years old - 5'8" - DL - no-BB by withpractice_ff | Ace Attorney | Edgeworth/Phoenix | 3k | Phoenix finds Edgeworth’s Grindr profile

spinning with the stars above by tardigradeschool | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | 7k | Wangji returns home to Vulcan for the first time since he left for Starfleet Academy, this time with Wei Ying at his side. He’s not expecting Wei Ying and his uncle to be fast friends, but things go poorly in a very different way than he was expecting.

every breath that comes before by tardigradeschool | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 10k | Or, what if that cup of wine Wei Wuxian drank for Lan Wangji after the Phoenix Mountain hunt wasn't just wine?

never love an anchor by tardigradeschool | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | 31k | A fisherman and a selkie fall in love beside the sea. Regretfully, things are never quite that simple.

Be Careful by giraffeter | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xue Yang | 5k | Song Lan and Xue Yang try to survive a week in their shared apartment without Xiao Xingchen as a buffer.

April

running for a soft place to fall by tardigradeschool | The Untamed | Lan Xichen & Lan Wangji | 10k | As he leaves for his coming of age test at age twelve, half-Vulcan Xichen has a goal in mind. The rules of the kahs-wan prohibit taking food, water, or weapons. In accordance, Xichen is bringing none of those things, but he does have a compass tucked into his pocket. He is going to find his father.

an act too often neglected by Ariaste | The Untamed | Lan Xichen/Meng Yao | 60k | The single faceless, anonymous photograph on the profile that catches his eye is shot in elegant black-and-white, and there’s something about the crispness of the focus and the markedly off-center composition that says art, for once, rather than mugshot.The caption below is equally sparse: “5’6. Demanding.”

where you go, I'm going (so jump and I'm jumping) by Aria | The Magnus Archives | Martin/Jonathan | 6k | "I don't think so," Alex said. She looked at Martin. "Is this really how it went?"

Morning, keep the streets empty for me by feyburner | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 6k | Ghosts were drawn to the ring roads.

2am on a saturday by detectorist | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 11k | In which Lan Zhan gets high, slides into Wei Ying's DMs, and somehow ends up having the harmonica played to him at 2am in the morning.

Grief Kindly Stopped by ShanaStoryteller | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 5k | Nothing leaves the Burial Mounds alive.

Boat Basin by downjune | The Falcon and the Winter Soldier | 5k | He thought the 21st century now maybe suffered from an overabundance of classifications for all the different ways to fuck and/or romance a person, but the most important thing—and his therapist had emphasized this—the most important thing was connection.

my touch magnifies by isozyme | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu/Ye Baiyi | 7k | Wen Kexing gets hit with fuck-or-die sex pollen on the way to Longyuan cabinet. Everything would be fine, except Zhou Zishu’s been keeping an unfortunate secret: the nails in his chest mean he can’t get hard anymore.

DELIGHTFUL FANVIDS

January

2020 || Multifandom Mashup

Hades - Official Animated Trailer

Hades Mini-PMV: This Year

2020, I guess

MARVEL || Energy (ft. Easy McCoy + Black Hydra)

obi-wan || give it

2020 ll Multifandom Mashup

Multifandom | Goodbye 2020

Multifandom | Goodbye 2018

2018 Multifandom | MASHUP

His Dark Materials - No Sanctuary

Lyra & Mrs. Coulter | Hurricane

► mrs. coulter || way down we go [hdm]

Wonder Woman || BORN READY

Vikings | The End of the Journey

February

MARVEL || Ready Set (ft. Vo Williams)

MARVEL || Here We Go (ft. Chris Classic)

MARVEL || Is You Ready || The Falcon and the Winter Soldier

Never forget || Hualian - Hua Cheng x Xie Lian AMV

【魔道祖师 / MDZS】Animatic - The First Siege | Safe & Sound

The Jedi Way | THE MANDALORIAN

Multifandom || Going Bad (feat. Drake)

March

Broccolli Casserole--The Untamed

Hey Brother - The Adventure Zone Animatic/PMV

The Adventure Zone: Balance trailer

The Adventure Zone: Balance Arc Trailer (Animatic)

13 Year Olds (A MDZS Animatic by Arcxus)

Multifandom || Die In This Town

DNA | shadow & bone

(Marvel) Wanda Maximoff | Grief

Defying Gravity | MDZS/CQL Animatic

It’s Quiet Uptown | MDZS Animatic

To The Stars

(Marvel) WandaVision || Awaken

Walt Disney Animation Studios | A Magical Journey

We don't have forever.

stop living a fake life.

► Wanda Maximoff | PAINT IT BLACK (+15k)

Multifandom || Take It (c/w Quang Truong) ft. @SEIGE WORLD

Kylo Ren | STAR WARS

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

April

MARVEL || Natural ft.ImagineDragons

xue yang & xiao xingchen ➤ gasoline

WEN KEXING || GASOLINE

Wen Kexing ✘ Zhou Zishu || Dandelions

Play With Fire - Wen Kexing

TOXIC ~ Wen Kexing ~ word of honor ~ 山河令

(Marvel) Bucky Barnes | Free

Bucky Barnes | Feeling Good

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier || Next Level ft. @7kingZ || (Marvel)

Eternity looking down on us.

The complexity of reality.

Captain America

✗ The Crows | Trouble (Shadow&Bone)

Shadow & Bone | Paint It Black

The secret fate of all life.

DELIGHTFUL MUSIC

January

A Better Version - Jessie Shelton

Start a War - Klergy, Valerie Broussard

Meet Me in the Dark - Melissa Etheridge

ily - Surf Mesa, Emilee

Space Man - Eurielle

To Be Loved - Aurora

In the Blood - Darren Korb

Can’t Help Falling in Love - Tommee Profitt

Astronomical - SVRCINA

Oh Comely - Neutral Milk Hotel

In This Shirt - The Irrepressibles

goblincore + cottagecore

moonlit love letters 🌙💌 (sailor moon-inspired lofi mix)

Moonlight Densetsu Lo-Fi Remix 1 hour version

Peaceful Meditation

February

Never Forget You - Zara Larsson

Is You Ready - Migros

Recomposed Four Seasons - Max Richter

The End - JPOLND

Love Yourself - Sufjan Stevens

Deja | Daniel Roure

Used To Like | Neon Trees

Material Boy - Sir Sly

Willow - Taylor Swift

Overture - Apashe

Evangeline - Josh Garrels

Gris, pt 1 - Berlinist

Inferno - Hiroyuki Sawano

March

BAMBAM - Angie

Dictator - Rei Ami

Demons - Hayley Kiyoko

Runaway - Rei Ami

Deep Blue - Marcus Warner

Brave New World - Kalandra

Nero - The Speed

The Path of Silence - Anne Sophie Versnaeyen

Tuleloits - Kerli

Soft to Be Strong - Marina

Relic - Reeder

Ascension - Gorillaz

Will You Follow Me Into the Dark - Klergy

Voidfish (Plural) - Rachel Mitchell

Raya and the Last Dragon soundtrack

Unicorn Wizard - Ninja Sex Party

Me Too - Meghan Trainor

Umbrella - Rihanna

Colors Flying High - Lollia

Wake Up, Get Up, Get Out There - Lyn

lovely - khalid

Burn My Dread - Lotus Juice

Progress - The Dear Hunter

My Mother Told Me - Rachel Hardy

Savage Daughter - Sarah Ross

Four - Sleeping At Last

April

The Other Side - Amarante

Predator & Prey - Griffin Puatu

As the World Caves In -Matt Maltese

Tell Her I Wasn’t Scared - Dan Thiessen

Esmeralda - Adriel Genet

Woods - AfterInfinity

So Human of You - Shireen

Flags of Rome - Jesper Kyd

Do It All the Time - I don’t Know How But They Found Me

Hummingbirds - Venus Hum

On and On - Curtis Harding

Grand Escape - RADWIMPS

my ex’s best friend - machine gun kelly

Sofia - Clairo

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Charlotte Lawrence

Next Level - 7KingZ

Tell Me - Johnny Jewel

Get Out of Town - Firefles

Music for Anglo Saxes

I See Darkness In You - Red Mecca

Satan Is His Name - Holly Golightly

Rocky Trail - Kings of Convenience

Story - NF

Because the Night - 10,000 Maniacs

Use to Be (L.O.V.E.) - Chelsea Collins

Bird on a Wire - Simone Istwa

Huzzah - Nathan Barr

POSTED FIC

January

gonna make you feel, boy | Hades | Megaera/Thanatos/Zagreus | 1,101 words | “You can touch, you know,” she murmurs, satisfaction and anticipation warring within her. Her pulse pounds. Zagreus’s eyes have darkened, his pupils eating up all that color. He looks good enough to eat.

February

how long do we have? | She Ra | Adora/Catra | 1,539 words | “The war is over, Adora,” Catra tells her. Adora hums. “Maybe. Maybe not.”

March

only fools rush in | The Adventure Zone | Taako/Magnus | 5,209 words | “Okay,” Taako says, sitting down heavily. “So. Ancient ritual to… bring people together?”

til my lungs both billow out | The Magnus Archives | Jon/Martin | 748 words | The knife goes in. The tape runs out.

the echo, as wide as the equator | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 2,927 words | “Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying whispers after it is done.

April

N/A

WIPS | UNPUBLISHED | ORIGINAL

January

1685 words of Buzzfeed Unsolved, tattoo AU

February

N/A

March

3121 words of Magnus/Taako, Stolen Century verse Posted!

April

852 words of Steve/Billy

FANMIXES/GRAPHICS

January

got the morbs: sad/somber songs for sad/somber people

2021: a mix for the year that comes after 2020

Sahara Baby: a mix for songs that sound like Spanish Sahara

Fire Baby: a mix for songs that sound like Play With Fire

Consequences Baby: a mix for songs that sound like Consequences

Paradise Baby: a mix for songs that sound like Paradise Valley

Real Boy: a Zagreus playlist

February

N/A

March

only fools rush in: a taako/magnus playlist

pomegranate seeds: a persephone playlist

make them bow: a megaera playlist

fuck feelings: a taako playlist

til my lungs both billow out: a jonmartin playlist

April

i am my mother’s savage daughter: a playlist for the girl

#heather says what #heather writes #scrapbook #2021

3 notes · View notes

uozlulu · 5 years ago

Text

Going to stick these here for now in case I lose the file or need it to be easier to search or something.

Notes on the ES21 soulmate mark AU fic I was rambling about in this post. Just kind of organizing things so when it comes time to write it I can hopefully write it quickly.

Some characters might not show up, others might get added to the list. Those missing so far are characters I either felt like I didn’t have confidence in writing or didn’t really remember since it’s been over 10 years since I finished the manga. Also trying to keep the cast of active characters on the small side even though a lot of characters will be there if only in general. All flashbacks/scenes/etc...will need proper fleshing out and so forth of course. These are all just my initial ideas, which are highly likely to evolve as I go as all my fics tend to do.

Probably going to wait until I finish watching the anime before writing it. Kind of tried to be canon compliant but also didn’t want to spend oodles of time tracking down details, so just kind of setting the goal as having fun with the AU and letting it do what it wants to do

Headcanons:

The World Bowl VI was Sunday, August 2, 2020. (It’s where the top football teams from around the world kick off the football season with a three week tournament started in 2015). The rehearsal is Friday, August 7, 2020. The wedding is Saturday August 8, 2020. Everyone goes home sometime Sunday, August 9, 2020. They have the ranch from Tuesday, August 4, 2020 – Monday, August 10, 2020.

High school football players form Japan, pro players from around the world, friends from school, friends from college are all invited along with their spouses, partners, significant others, and kids. Family members include Tetsuma’s mom who looks like him and their Seibu high school coach.

Sena –34 in December, played for Enma University from 2005 – 2009, been with the Seattle Superstars since 2009. Starting to contemplate retiring. The Seattle recruiter saw Sena’s tryout back in high school and tracked him down to beg him to sign with Seattle when Sena finally cashed in his NFL draft invitation from the Youth World Cup. Officially been in a long-distance relationship with Panther since 2010, but really they’ve kind of been a thing for longer than that.

Hiruma – 34 since February, plays for the San-Antonio Armadillos since 2006, likes to say he won’t retire until his age is his jersey number (55). Has been living with Mamori since 2006. They’re not married, but their daughter was born in 2017.

Kurita – 35 since July, played with the Tokyo Stallions, played from 2008 – 2016, works at the temple now.

Monta –34 on August 31, played for the San Antonio Armadillos from 2008 – 2013, having to retire after a career-ending injury at the start of the 2012 – 2013 season. Married Suzuna in 2008. They have a daughter born in 2010 and a son born in 2012. After retirement, he returned to Japan and he’s been coaching and teaching at Deimon ever since.

Juumonji –34 in October, Kuroki 34 on September 1, Togano 34 in October – all went on to have fairly normal jobs (banker, office worker, advertising). Kuroki is married with a kid or two, Juumonji is gay and has a partner who works the same bank and is his “roommate,” Togano is still single.

Yukimitsu – 34 since February, never played football again after high school, became a veterinarian.

Komusubi – 33 since January – never played football again after high school, became a personal trainer.

Ishimaru – 35 in October, never played football again after high school, went on to run in the Hakone Eikoden in university, has a normal job

Taki – 35 since April, played with the Orlando Divers 2004 – 2008 and then was traded to the Nashville Fighters where he’s been since 2008. Never married. Does he date anyone? Who knows. “My brother,” “my niece,” “my nephew.”

Musashi – 35 since Apirl, been playing the the Takekura Construction Babels since 2004, still working construction, personal life is pretty private, but does have a son who plays elementary school soccer.

Mamori 35 in November, ENL teacher to small children, still helps strategize football, been living with Hiruma since 2006 and had a daughter in 2017, living her best life

Suzuna 33 since March, married to Monta since 2008 with two kids, first of the group to get married, part-time matchmaker, has a decent success rate. Hiruma = You-nii, Juumonji = Monjii, Kuroki = Kurokki, Togano = Toga, Komusubi = Kamusubicchi, Yukimitsu = Yukki, Ishimaru = Tet-chan, Musashi = Musha-syan, Mamori = Mamo-nee, Kid = Kiddon,” Cereberus = Ceru, Sena has no nickname

Kid (Mushanokoji Shien) – 35 in November, comes from a noble line, at odds with parents over lifestyle choices and is now estranged, played with the Takekura Construction Babels from 2004 – 2005, played with the Tokyo Stallions from 2005 – 2010, played with the Houston Fishermen from 2010 – 2020. Started Sports Club with Tetsuma in 2012, which is a revitalization of the Boys and Girls Club concept. Hopes to keep working and growing the club in retirement. Been with Tetsuma since 2006. Wanted to enjoy being married so that’s why they waited until they were retired from pro ball.

Tetsuma – 35 since May, his mom looks just like him, played for the Tokyo Stallions from 2004 – 2008, played for the Dallas Titans from 2008 – 2020. Helps Kid run Sports Club, very good at organizing and budgeting.

Riku – turned 34 in April, played with Enma Fires from 2005 – 2009, played with the Yokohama Belugas from 2009 – 2015, still wears the team’s squid hat merch when it’s cold outside. Retired after a horrific injury which he still uses a cane for. Runs a pet bird store. Dated lots of people, still hasn’t settled for anyone.

Buffalo – 36 in October, got rid of the dreads soon after graduation in a bid to try and fit into Japanese society, now his hair is just long. Moved to the US in 2005 and ended up doing stuff like MMA, Ninja Warrior, and UFC. Has an American wife and three daughters (ages 12, 9, and 7).

Horide – no canon age, so let’s assume he’s roughly like late 50’s – early 60’s by 2020, still coaching football, but considering retirement, proud of all the kids who have ever been on his team. He’s pretty much in a parental position in the audience seating, and treated as one might treat a dad during such an event

Saba –mid-30’s, no real wiki info, became an office worker, has one child, didn’t play football after high school.

Aiuchi Hina – mid 30’s, not much wiki info, head cheerleader, Miss Seibu, probably married to an unnamed former teammate, and probably has at least one kid

Shin – 35 since July, played for Ojou Silver Knights 2004 – 2009, played for the New England Musketeers since 2009, has many Super Bowl wins, a true legend in both the US and Japan. Ignores tabloid rumors about him dating models and singers so he can enjoy some privacy with his partner, an indie rocker who preformed the half time show in 2013. They’ve been living together out in the middle of nowhere upstate New York since 2016 in a modest house that no one really would think celebrities owned. Has a condo near the Musketeers’ training facilities.

Sakuraba – 34 since March, played for the Ojou Silver Knights 2004 – 2009, played for the Seattle Superstars from 2009 – 2018, retired because he wanted to do something else with his life. Has gone on to play in a local band that’s had moderate success around the Pacific Northwest touring clubs, lounges, and bars. Keeps his private life very private.

Panther – probably 34 (no birthday given), likely graduated high school in 2005 like Sena, so probably met Sena the summer before sophomore year at high school, maybe has a summer birthday and was already 16 when they met. Nasa Aliens/Shuttles was a travel team he was in from 2001 – 2005, also played high school football with his local high school from 2001 – 2005, played with the San Antonio Armadillos since 2005, took business courses online and has a degree since he thought that might help him keep from falling into pitfalls other pro-athletes fall into with money and retirement. Didn’t have a cellphone when he met Sena, but they exchanged e-mail addresses. When Sena went to Notre Dame High School, they exchanged AIM handles and got to talk to each other more often since they were on the same time zone. Eventually exchanged numbers once Panther got a cellphone after graduating high school. Kind of were rocking the long distance relationship chic before it was an official relationship.

Jeremy – probably 34 or 35, the kid with the glasses, still close friends with Panther. Played at Stanford from 2004/2005 – 2006/2007, knows multiple languages for fun so he’s still not the best translator. Continued his degree while playing professionally because he promised. Played with the New England Musketeers since 2006/2007 and retired earlier in 2020. Has a son and daughter (ages 6 and 9). His wife is a teacher.

Homer – probably 34 or 35, the kid with the long hair, also still close friends with Panther and Jeremy, chose to go into the NFL draft upon graduating high school. Played for the Nashville Fighters from 2004/2005 – 2010/2011, and then got transferred to the Chicago Gangsters in 2010/2011 and retired in 2018 back to Houston where he helps run a charity that picks up the slack across Texas after disasters when FEMA can’t get its act together to help people. He’s currently trying to build the charity up so it can function in multiple states.

Big Brother Gonzales – probably 36 maybe about to turn 37, biggest guy from the travel team and probably the oldest member. Played with the University of Kentucky from 2002/2003 – 2006/2007, played for the Denver Pumas from 2006/2007 – 2010/2011 when he had a career ending injury. Had his kanji tattoo covered up and started collecting more tattoos. Has also gotten the correct kanji tattooed on him at some point.

Little Brother Gonzales – probably 32, never really got as big as his brother so he never played football after high school. Had a few tattoos including the dumb one from high school.

Vague Summary:

Sena/Panther soulmate fic in which Kid and Tetsuma’s wedding brings most the gang and more together. Kind of a choose to stick together thing? Idek. See where it goes. Think of it like a romcom movie maybe?

Soulmate Concept:

In this world, soulmates are considered near-extinct but they really aren’t. Lots of people have a wide variety of soulmates, it’s just that their soulmarks aren’t very obvious. For example, Mamori and Hiruma both have a splattering of freckles on their hands that are actually a continuation of each other’s pattern, but it’s too subtle and freckley to really realize what it truly means. Other people might have birthmarks that fit together or have moles placed in the exact same places or mirrored places, etc…However, there’s a subclass of soulmate marks for those who have a truly deep bond. Those marks have a more distinct look to them. Sena has what looks like roses cascading down his Soulmate marks tend to start developing upon meeting your soulmate and evolve as your relationship deepen, so Mamori and Hiruma upon meeting in first-year were probably like huh freckles, and by second year it’s like lots of freckles but who cares it’s just mysterious high school freckles.

Flashbacks:

Panther and Sena:

2002 – Hanging out by the river bank after practice before Panther has to regroup with the others where they’re staying. Sena’s soulmate mark is on his right leg and looks like cascading roses except more impressionist since the mark is still forming. Panther’s looks like chrysanthemums following a similar pattern on his right leg. At the time they think it’s kind of weird, but don’t over think it. Sena’s dad told him that most people develop one in high school and he has something like he and his best friend have stuff like that on their arms.

2002 – Sena asks Panther for his number after the cat incident, but Panther doesn’t have a cellphone yet. He does have e-mail and AIM, so they exchange e-mails because Sena doesn’t have AIM. By this point, their soulmate marks seem more like flowers than birthmarks, but they’re still underdeveloped.

2009/2010 – Panther and Sena meet up to celebrate New Years and Sena’s belated birthday since they’re finally both living in the states now (even if it’s an almost four hour plane ride apart), end up deciding that they’re dating. They have a good idea what they’re getting in though because they’ve been long distance friends with a fourteen hour time zone difference so at least now they can more feasibly see each other when they don’t have football commitments

Kid and Tetsuma

2006 – Kid, being the only son of a noble family was going through arranged marriage hell. Texted Tetsuma, “Save me,” both kind of half jokingly, half for serious. So Tetsuma shows up in nice clothing (because Kid’s always talking about how people get overly dressed up to come over to their estate) and kind of just showed up during a marriage prospect meeting, held Kid’s gaze a long moment, bowed on his knees to Kid’s parents like a good wedding prospect, and then promptly slung Kid over his shoulder, and rescued him. They’ve been together ever since. Honestly probably would have dated in high school but social pressure got in the way.

Venue:

It’s a large, sprawling ranch/inn in Wyoming. It’s large enough to accommodate everyone. There are horses to ride, a functioning farm, and a view of mountains in the distance. Everyone chipped in money to secure it not only because it was in a location the press wouldn’t bother all of them, but also because it sounded like a fun time no one could pass up. Kid and Tetsuma helped organize the whole thing so nobody would be priced out of coming especially if they had to fly from Japan or elsewhere to come.

Wedding:

The wedding is set up outdoors with everyone gathered around the altar so it’s les syour side and my side and more umbrella shaped. Kid and Tetsuma enter together, Tetsuma breaks off at a full run and Kid quick draws the bouquet, shoot it towards Tetsuma, who catches it and holds it through the whole ceremony. The ceremony is kind of a mix of typical American wedding stuff said by the ordained and then the vows are Shinto, though there is no sake. Kind of a mix of Kid and Tetsuma’s love of the wild west and their commitment to each other which follows more of a love, respect, console, help, and protect than a love, honor, cherish, and obey.

Reception:

It’s in the great hall of the ranch/inn. Lots of wild west/ranch/cowboy chic happening. Variety of food, mix of American and Japanese traditions. Kid tells the flashback about Tetsuma rescuing him from an arranged marriage. Reception ends at sunset and they ride off into the sunset together, heading to a nearby campsite to kick off whatever their honeymoon will be.

#adventures in fic writing

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buckybarnesisjewish · 6 years ago

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My Fic Recs! (also found on the fic recs page)

Fic Recs

All of the fics with Jewish Bucky that I love! Links open in a new tab. Send a submission or ask if you want to add any or your own. These are all stucky atm, but feel free to submit fic for any ship. For more fics with Jewish Bucky, you can try this ao3 search or searching for it on thestuckylibrary here

CATEGORY 1: Fics that center on Bucky’s Jewish identity as a main focus

Teshuvah by myownremedy

Mod comments- My absolute favorite fic that focuses on Bucky’s faith. Beautiful and eloquent, a must read!

As we come forth, so we shall return. Ecclesiastes 5:14

Teshuva by JHSC

Mod comments- Yes, two fics with this title! This one is a stunning exploration of Bucky regaining his memories and hope.

The first person he remembers is Steve.

The second person he remembers is his mother.

things my heart used to know by biblionerd07

Mod comments- Yay Hanukkah fic!!! Biblio is one of my favorite authors. Everything they write is fantastic, and this is no exception.

T'Challa and his team have removed Bucky’s triggers and are ready to wake him up just in time for Hanukkah, so Steve and Sam set out to make sure he has everything he needs to celebrate. Bucky, however, is struggling a bit.

three white horses by magdaliny

Mod comments- Incredibly sad, but so well written!

Steve, it’s not your fault, Sam had tried to say, before Steve cut him off, and Steve doesn’t think that’s untrue so much as it’s irrelevant; fault’s got nothing to do with it. It’s just—wrong. It’s wrong. Steve couldn’t wrap his head around it the first time, how wrong it was. Steve should have gone first. Was supposed to. Bucky could have carried on without Steve, he knows, but Steve without Bucky is a zero sum. There should never be a world that Steve is in and Bucky isn’t.

swallows still sing by icoulddothisallday

Mod comments- Wordlessly sad and fairly graphic, so heed the tags. It’s extremely historically accurate and so well written, and despite how dark it is, it leaves the reader with hope.

They move through the doorway and the sun hits Bucky’s face. His eyes flinch closed involuntarily, but the warmth on his face is more than enough. There’s a breeze too, the freshest air Bucky has breathed in months. It’s chaos outside, a clamor of voices in languages both familiar and foreign. Bucky is glad to ignore it, glad to trust that the Captain will take him to safety.

On April 29th, 1945, US forces liberate the concentration camp Dachau. But Captain Steve Rogers and his Howling Commandos have a more specific mission - the rescue and rehabilitation of prisoners experimented on by Arnim Zola, among them, a man named Bucky.

The Night War by praximeter

Mod comments- Holy fuck I love epistolary works, and this one is a goddamn masterpiece. Prax’s imitation of Bucky’s writing voice is beyond perfect, and the fic really reads like a real wartime memoir and literary classic. Sad and upsetting, so read the tags. It captures the horrors of war in a very visceral and touching way.

In 1947, Master Sergeant James B. Barnes’s surviving field journals were posthumously published as the classic war memoir The Night War. Now a high school history classroom mainstay and required reading at West Point, this highly anticipated 60th Anniversary Edition presents the original, unedited text alongside detailed historical notes that provide important context to the extraordinary wartime heroics of Captain America and the Howling Commandos.

Barnes, James B. The Night War: The Wartime Memoirs of a Howling Commando. Ed. Harold Miller. 60th Anniversary ed. New York: HarperCollins, 2005. Print.

In The World to Come by newredshoes

Mod comments- A really excellent short fic about Bucky’s identity and faith, and dealing with antisemitism in the 30s and 40s. Will break your heart.

Barnes was never a Jewish name before.

CATEGORY 2: Fics where the main focus is not Bucky’s Jewish identity, but it is included.

Ain’t No Grave by spitandvinegar

Mod comments- Literally probably my favorite fic, ever. I’ve probably reread it at least 10 times. An unforgettable and unique take on them post TWS, and the definitive text of awkward old super soldiers, a multifaceted and perfectly characterized Bucky, Steve being Sad, Sam being done with their shit, Romeo and Juliet Type Feelings, a Mexican Suicide Pact, and a coupla of Goddamn Kids.

It’s six in the morning, and Steve is heading out on a run when he nearly trips over a bouquet of sunflowers on the front steps of his brownstone.

For a second paranoia takes over, and he kicks the flowers a little, waiting for them to explode. They don’t. They also came with a card, which he picks up. The front of the card has a tasteful picture of the Brooklyn bridge at sunset. It’s very nice and sedate, like the kind of card you would buy to give to your boss. On the inside someone has written a short message in big, shaky block letters.

I AM SORRY FOR SHOOTING YOU.

Steve sits down hard on the steps.

The Hundred Year Playlist by girlbookwrm

Mod comments- Another one of my favorite fics of all time!!! It covers every era of canon and I swear, I could read it over and over.

Steve and Bucky, start to finish.

“Come on, pal, it’s me. Take another hundred years if you want, I’ll still be here.”

DREAMERS WITH EMPTY HANDS: Steve POV. Pre CATFA. Steve Rogers/Chronic Pain, with bonus Steve/Pining. 1924-1943

GOOD MORNING HEARTACHE, WHAT’S NEW?: Steve POV. CATFA. Steve/Emotional Pain, War Years Edition. 1943-1945/2011

THE TERROR OF KNOWING: Bucky POV. Winter Soldier Years. Soldat/Fear, with bonus Baby Widows! 1945-2014.

FOOL FOR SACRIFICE: Steve POV. Avengers 1 - AoU. Steve/Losing Everything.

NO HOPE FOR THE WEARY (WIP): Bucky POV. TWS-CACW. Bucky/Let Him Rest 2kForever. The Big Recovery Fic, 2014-2016.

LAY DOWN YOUR WEAPON (drafting): AKA PRE INFINITY WAR FLUFF (and angst).

(All these stories stand alone and are roughly canon compliant)

i need a forest fire by tomorrowsrain

Mod comments- Do you like road trips? A Tony and Bucky friendship focused fic? Being sad about Bucky? Epic romance? Fixing the utter mess that was Civil War? Then you have to read this fic!

“The past beats inside me like a second heart. These fragments I have shored against my ruins.”

In which Tony Stark makes a reckless decision, becomes a wanted fugitive, goes on the run with the former Winter Soldier, and learns how to forgive. For his part, Bucky Barnes is just trying to hold himself together. AU, post-Civil War

The Way To A Man’s Heart by Niitza

Mod comments- Such a great read! Mostly focuses on Steve and the team, but has some great Bucky moments. Bonus for Bucky keeping kosher!

It started with shawarma.

A story about food, memory, and how Steve Rogers carved out a place for himself in the 21st century.

#mine #fic recs #jewish bucky barnes #marvel #bucky barnes #jewish bucky #mcu #captain america #stucky #catws #catfa #winter soldier #the winter soldier #bucky

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luvneedsnosyt · 6 years ago

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My Favorite Albums of 2018

Here is my list of my personal top albums of 2018

You can find my separate list for top EPs of 2018 here.

My Previous monthly lists from 2018: January , February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December

My list last year for my top Albums of 2017 can be found here.

*Indicated someone I saw live in 2018

Honorable Mention:

Alan Walker - Different World Genre: Electronic / Dance

Different World is life in a digital universe. On the surface the mechanical synth-based melodies might come off as a bit too artificial, but if you dispel the notion computers can’t be a musical instrument you can see there’s a heartbeat under the churning gears. In the context of the album all the tracks really work together harmoniously, a pretty amazing feat considering these songs were recorded and released over the span of three years. There is a intentional, common vernacular across the tracks that melds it together quite nicely. Despite the plasticity on top, this debut album is artificial intelligence exuding relatable emotion and infectious energy. I don’t know what’s more human than that.

Proof: Lonely (w/ Steve Aoki Feat. ISÁK & Omar Nior) / Darkside (Feat. Au/Ra & Tomine Harket)

Alina Baraz - The Color Of You Genre: alt-R&B / Soul

The soothing and sultry voice of Alina Baraz can seriously sing to me the phone book and I would rock back and forth in a happy place. The world was first introduced to Alina Baraz when she teamed with Danish producer Galimatias for their euphoric, synth-pop joint EP Urban Flora. For her first solo project Baraz goes for a bit more of a stipped down sound which allows her soulful vocals to shine as they whisk you away. This enduring and intimate album shows the future is bright for the singer and her low lit music.

Proof: Fallin / I Don’t Even Know Why Though // Bonus: Feels Right

Chloe x Halle - The Kids Are Alright Genre: alt-R&B

Sisters Chloe & Halle’s talents caught the attention of none other than Beyoncé who scooped them up for her label and now their unique and unpredictable form of R&B is catching the attention of the masses. The sisters broke out on the scene with 2016’s Sugar Symphony EP, followed up by the YouTube released mixtape The Two of Us. This debut album has been in the works since before that original EP was released and with most of the production handled by them is a true culmination of their hard work to get to this point. The hard work is already paying dividends with two GRAMMY nominations including “Best New Artist”.

Proof: Everywhere / Galaxy

CHVRCHES - Love Is Dead Genre: Synth-Pop

On their third album, Love Is Dead, for the first time Scottish band CHVRCHES used outside producers on a record. The result is a bit more expansive of a sound for the group then before. The moments of emotion and energy seem a bit more unhinged (in a good way). Lauren also adjusted her writing techniques from a metaphor heavy style that would allude to subjects to a much more straightforward vocabulary addressing things head on. It’s still the same identifiable vernacular of the band CHVRCHES but with a few new art pieces up on the walls.

Proof: Never Say Die / Miracle

Don Diablo - FUTURE Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop / Dance

Ten years after his debut, Dutch producer shows by he’s been a sought after producer for nearing twenty years. FUTURE shows how the producer has been able to craft entertaining and contagious pop melodies that resonate ohh so well.

Proof: Take Her Place (Feat. A R I Z O N A) / Found You (Feat. Bully Songs)

J.I.D. - DiCaprio 2 Genre: Hip Hop

J. Cole signee J.I.D. Didn’t waste time following up his 2017 debut album The Never Story. The Atlanta rapper already had a following established from independently released mixtapes and EPs before last year. The Never Story exposed to a wider audience this newcomer has got some lyrical skills and a silky, smooth flow, DiCapro 2 (a sequel to his 2015 DiCaprio EP) only exacerbates the exposure to his talent even more.

Proof: 151 Rum / Tiiied (Feat. 6LACK & Ella Mai)

JMSN - Velvet Genre: R&B / Soul / Funk

The shape shifting R&B of Michigan singer JMSN has been one of my favorites since his 2012 revelation of a debut †Priscilla† (which topped my 2012 albums list). His first album and EP were very much in the hazy low lit alt-R&B sound similar to The Weeknd and How To Dress Well. JMSN then molded his sound to a more straightforward form of R&B for an album. Again, not being complacent, his two following albums transformed again this time to sound like a jazz assemble backing a soul singer. Well, JMSN takes another left turn with Velvet incorporating some sultry funk. With dripping base lines and bouncing synth keys this is JMSN’s most vibrant sound yet.

Proof: Levy / Drama

Kylie Minogue - Golden Genre: Synth-Pop / Country

I am admittedly not a big country fan, and some more die hard country listeners my roll their eyes at me calling this album country. Kylie Minogue is going on 30 years in the industry and mostly been a danceable, synth-pop artist. For her fortieth album Golden, Kylie went to Nashville and incorporated country and bluegrass music tendencies into her sound; something that could be a disastrous ambition. I guess you don’t just luck into making music for three decades, because this interesting mixture is pulled off beautifully. Golden is an effective and innovative mash up of electronic music, synth-pop and country in a surprisingly delicious cocktail.

Proof: Stop Me From Falling / Every Little Part of Me

Logic - YSIV Genre: Hip Hop

With one of the most lethal flows in the game, Logic dropped off two projects in 2018. First was the follow up of his Bobby Tarantino Mixtape. The second was his fourth LP, but this time reviving his Young Senatra persona from mixtapes earlier in his career (the last one came out in 2013). YSIV or as it stands for “Young Sinatra 4” is another verbal assault by the talented rapper and one of his most confident records to date. The robust use of skits and interludes has always been a gripe of mine with Logic albums, and gladly they are noticeably absent here. No matter what persona he dons, Logic has some of the most ferocious lyrical prowess in the industry and he loves to show it off.

Proof: The Return / 1000 Miles & Running (Feat. Wale & John Lindahl)

MNEK - Language Genre: R&B / Electronic

Before this debut album was released British singer/producer/songwriter MNEK already had multiple GRAMMY nominations from his songwriting and production work with artists including Kylie Minogue, MØ, Madonna, Zara Larsson, Julia Michaels, Dua Lipa, Beyoncé and a whole slew of others. With the success of his stellar 2015 EP Small Talk he became a sought after commodity in the industry. For his debut album MNEK wanted to make a statement of who the man behind the boards and pen is. Language is an exhilarating listen front to back and an exciting mixture of intersecting genres.

Proof: Tongue / Colour (Feat. Hailee Steinfield)

SOB X RBE - GANGIN / GANGIN II Genre: Hip Hop

It’s been a busy year for the new hip hop foursome from Vallejo. They dropped their self titled Mixtape in 2017 to catch the attention of Kendrick who put a song by them on the Black Panther soundtrack. Striking while the iron was hot, the group released their debut album in February and their Sophomore album (or an extension of their debut) only a few months later in September. Growing up the Bay Area the group is obviously influenced heavily by the Hyphy movement. You can hear elements of influences from E-40, Keak da Sneak, The Team and others in that Hyphy sound; but with a contemporary twist.

Proof: Anti Social / Can’t // North Vallejo / Made It

Superorganism - Superorganism Genre: Indie Pop

Eight member group from various countries formed the band Superorganism in 2017. Together they would send tracks through Facebook and WhatsApp and each member would add some layers on to it. The concoction is a dense, multifaceted form of unique pop music. The various layers of instruments, synths, and samples intertwine to create a mesh of melodies that bounce along gracefully despite their mass.

Proof: Everybody Wants To Be Famous / Reflections on the Sun

Tove Stryke - Sway Genre: Synth-Pop

This short and sweet album by The Swedish singer is her strongest to date. There’s a subtle growing of confidence I can see from this album to its predecessor 2015’s Kiddo. Despite its short run time, Sway makes quite an enjoyable impression.

Proof: Sway / Mistakes

Typhoon - Offerings Genre: Indie Rock / Alternative

American rock band Typhoon follow up 2013’s White Lighter with their fourth album here. Offerings is a moving and powerful affair. Most of the tracks start off mellow and sweet with moments of crashing guitars and unfiltered emotion bursting out.

Proof: Rorschach / Darker

VanJess - Silk Canvas Genre: R&B / Neo-Soul

The sisters of first generation Nigerian immigrants started singing covers on YouTube before first getting signed way back in 2011. Their debut was worth the weight, Silk Canvas is some infectious forward thinking R&B with subtle nostalgia baked in. You can see influences from the likes of Rihanna, SWV, TLC and others.

Proof: Touch The Floor (Feat. Masego) / Best Believe

Bonus:

Major Lazer - Major Lazer Essentials Genre: Electronic / Dance

Since their debut album Major Lazer has been one of my favorites. Now three albums, multiple EPs and a couple mixtapes later, Diplo has announced a new album in 2019 (10 years after their debut) will be the end of the project for the immediate future as he pursues his other many projects. With this announcement Diplo released this compilation album of greatest hits and a handful of new tracks. My first thought when I gave my original spin through this collection was “damn, Major Lazer just had some gd hits!” Listening in one place to the standout tracks from 2009 to now is an exhilarating and entertaining experience centered around diversity and overflowing passion.

Proof: Blow That Smoke (Feat. Tove Lo) / Know No Better (Feat. Travis Scott, Camila Camila & Quavo) / Watch Out For This (Feat. Busy Signal, The Flexican & FS Green) / Tied Up (Feat. Mr Eazi, RAYE & Jake Gosling)

The List:

Last One Out: NoMBe - They Might’ve Even Loved Me Genre: Alternative / Indie Rock / R&B

German born singer NoMBe is here to seduce you and I say you should let him. They Might’ve Even Loved Me is a steamy collection of rock songs about love, sex and navigating through life. NoMBe’s vocals are subdued and sly enacting a sense of mystery. The backdrops are built on groovy bass lines and plucky guitar riffs meant to get your foot tapping and hips slowly moving. I can see obvious influences from The Killers, Kings of Leon and Prince. Deeper down I also see hints of Blood Orange, Twin Shadow and D’Angelo.

Proof: Young Hearts / Freak Like Me / Jump Right In / Sex

35. Rejjie Snow - Dear Anne Genre: Hip Hop

Hip Hop is usually about being forceful and having to reach out and grab what society has built roadblocks for you to attain. Irish rapper Rejjie Snow is the opposite of that. His subtle, jazzy production is minimalist and doesn’t directly ask for your attention. This allows the mellow, but skilled flow of Rejjie to take the lead. I wouldn’t label Rejjie’s rapping as slow, but it moves at a comfortable and steady pace and doesn’t need to be unnecessarily sped up. With the vibe being so well established, the listener can now comfortably hang onto every lyric which are well written in matters of love and maturing in life we all can identify with.

Proof: Spaceships (Feat. Ebenezer) / Egyptian Luvr (Feat. Aminé & Dana Williams) / Charlie Brown (Feat. Anna of the North) / Annie (Feat. Jesse Boykins III)

34. Kelela - TAKE ME A_PART THE REMIXES Genre: alt-R&B / Electronic

Kelela’s debut album Take Me Apart was one of my favorite albums last year. Her sound that was a mixture of Aaliyah, late 80s Janet Jackson laid over production that would fit on a Massive Attack album was such an enjoyable smooth and sultry listen. Her strong vision of her projects as a whole make for a cohesive listen. That strong vision carries over to this robust remix compilation that is not your average remix album. The diverse range of producers offering remixes make for a dynamic listen that teleport you to various new environments throughout. Kelela was part of the process curating this album with each of the producers, even recording some new vocals here and there if needed. It’s that devotion to her craft that makes me confident Kelela will be a long time.

Proof: KAYTRANADA_WAITIN_115 BPM / LSDXOXO_TRUTH OR DARE_123 BPM / NÍDIA_BLUE LIGHT_123 BPM / BADSISTA_BETTER_125 BPM (Feat. Linn da Quebrada)

33. Whethan* - Life of a Wallflower, Pt. 1 Genre: Electronic / Future Bass / Dance

The most impressive skill in electronic’s wonderkid Whethan’s arsenal is his ability to construct a diverse range of sounds within a genre that usually leads to being in niches. Since he first debuted in 2015 at the age of 16, Whethan had been a producer chameleon making tracks that don’t sounds like the last two or three or anything he released before had. Before this debut album was released he already got to work with the likes of Flux Pavilion, Charli XCX, Elohim, Ashe, MAX & Dua Lipa so his clout is rapidly growing in the industry. That’s from his ability to mold and morph melodies to his will. With apparently another album set to be released on 2019, the young Chicago producer is riding this accent with no end point in sight.

Proof: Radar (Feat. HONNE) / Top Shelf (Feat. Bipolar Sunshine) / Superlove (Feat. Oh Wonder) / Be Like You (Feat. Broods) // Bonus: High (Feat. Dua Lipa)

32. Kali Uchis - Isolation Genre: R&B / Soul

The soulful, vintage sound of Colombian-American Kali Uchis has an appealing and comforting nostalgia while also feeling contemporary and innovative. You can see her influences of 1960s Soul and doo-wop music as well as traditional Colombian music as the vertebrae of her stripped-back sound but also see how she’s molding it to her will to fit in 2018. Her tender voice can bounce along a track so gracefully in her unique melodies creating a dynamic experience despite a minimalist pallet.

Proof: Just A Stranger (Feat. Steve Lacy) / Tyrant (Feat. Jorja Smith) / Dead To Me / After The Storm (Feat. Tyler, The Creator & Bootsy Collins)

31. Mother Mother - Dance and Cry Genre: Indie Rock / Alternative

Canadian Rock band Mother Mother’s sound is an exciting coalesce of Modest Mouse, Arcade Fire and My Chemical Romance. Dance and Cry is a touching record of heartbreak and the hope afterwords. I admittedly haven’t listened to an entire project from Mother Mother before this, their seventh album, so I can’t really offer much history or how their sound may have evolved. However, this was a pleasant surprise when I first took it for a spin that kept surprising me every listen after, so I will personally be paying more attention to the band after.

Proof: Dance and Cry / Get Up / So Down / It’s Alright

30. Vince Staples - FM! Genre: Hip Hop

Long Beach rapper Vince Staples marches to the beat of his own drum with a IDGAF attitude. Seventeen months after releasing my personal favorite album of 2017, Vince is back with a new project; I’m not sure what to call it. Is FM! an album, a mixtape, just a recorded radio show? The thing is Vince could really care less about those questions, he just makes what he wants to. Put together as one radio show where the tracks abruptly end, there’s hosts playing stupid games with callers, quick commercial breaks for other rapper’s projects, the project comes out as an odd but accurate snapshot of 2018. With a run time under 30 minutes this album is like a shot of adrenaline and ends before any lethargic coming down. Staples verses are as strong as ever with the same bouncy beats we’ve known him to find to spit over with his normal laid back vigor.

Proof: Outside! / Relay / FUN! (Feat./ E-40) / No Bleedin (Feat. Kamaiyah)

29. St. Lucia - Hyperion Genre: Synth-Pop

South African frontman and main showrunner of the New York band St. Lucia returns with his lush and decadent pop music meant to overload your senses. St. Lucia has vaulted to the top of my personal bands list since their debut 2013’s When The Night; which led to me seeing them live 4 times in less than 24 months. Hyperion has a little less “pop” for me then it’s two predecessors, but that doesn’t mean it’s not still a joyous piece of tropical, electro-Pop. There’s even a few new wrinkles, like some George Michael inspired Gospel infusion on “Paradise Is Waiting” or the hints of 80′s rock in the margins of “Walking Away”.

Proof: A Brighter Love / Paradise is Waiting / Walking Away / China Shop

28. Joji - BALLADS 1 Genre: alt-R&B

Japanese singer Joji has come a long way from making a silly internet meme to this surprising debut album. Originally known for starting the “Harlem Shake” meme on his YouTune channel; forever making the actual dance from the 90’s forgotten. Sometime a couple years ago he decided to take music as a serious venture. There was some aspects I liked of his 2017 debut EP In Tongues but overall there was something not quite clicking for me. The seemed to be too much focus on the air underwater vibe and not enough on the song crafting. Well that seemed to be ironed out here with a beautiful debut album that has some heart wrenching moments. “SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK” was one of my favorite songs of 2018, and shows the once YouTube jokester can really dig deep and pull out raw emotion on a song.

Proof: SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK / TEST DRIVE / WANTED U / NO FUN // Bonus: SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK (Loud Luxury Remix)

27. ayokay - In The Shape Of A Dream Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop / Future Bass

Los Angeles based (Detroit born) DJ ayokay drops off his debut LP of sunkissed Electronic music. ayokay is not afraid to deal with some sadness in his songs, but they maintain a danceable vibe, emulating the mask we all wear in public over our emotions. Who’s ready to cry in the club with me?

Proof: Sleepless Nights (Feat. Nightly) / Don’t Wanna Be Your Friend (Feat. Katie Pearlman) / Stay With Me (Feat. Jeremy Zucker) / Half Past You (Feat. Future Jr.)

26. Tash Sultana - Flow State Genre: Indie Pop / R&B / Soul

Step into the lush and picturesque world created by the Australian multi-instrumentalists that is Tash Sultana. Sultana is a solo jam band as all fifteen instruments on the record are played by Tash, who utilizes looping programs to build these vast microcosms of sound. With the sultry vocals the sound is like Erykah Badu mixed with Aaliyah mixed with The Roots. The smooth vibes and dense backdrops take over on Flow State, a record that’s meant to get lost in.

Proof: Big Smoke / Cigarettes / Salvation / Mystik

25. Janelle Monáe - Dirty Computer Genre: R&B / Neo-Soul

Janelle Monáe is on quite a multimedia run right now and I don’t think it will slow down anytime soon. The singer/actor hasn’t technically won an EGOT award yet, but I see her flirting with the achievement soon. Already in two Oscar for Best Picture nominated movies “Hidden Figures” and “Moonlight” (the latter winning), the accomplished singer shows we are only seeing the beginning of her talents. The “G” in the EGOT might not be far off with probably her most comprehensive and impressive album to date Dirty Computer gaining some GRAMMY nominations: including Album of the Year. Dirty Computer is also my personal favorite project from Janelle. She describes it as finding her true authentic self and expressing that more effectively to the world and I can very much see that. She also worked on this album with the late genius Prince before his passing and you can very much see his influences throughout. There’s the airy dancing synths emulating a bit of the later Prince from Art Official Age on “Crazy, Classic, Life”. “Make Me Feel” is dripping with funk similar to something off of 1999. Album closer “Americans” utilizes a empowering soulful keyboard riff that could be taken straight from any of the albums with The Revolution. Despite the heavy influence, Janelle doesn’t use it as a crutch but as a tool to take her sound to a new level. She never loses her strong sense of self though the project, I feel we are finally peeling some of the protective exoskeleton that is Janelle Monáe and learning more about the beautiful and inspirational person beneath.

Proof: Crazy, Classic, Life / Make Me Feel / Like That / Americans

24. Alison Wonderland - Awake / Awake (The Remixes) Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop

We all are just trying to find our “Happy Place”. Hopefully the therapeutic burst of emotion that is Awake can help Australian DJ Alison Wonderland (real name Alexandra) find her own. With her sophomore album, I feel Alexandra has really found her voice and that’s with the keen ability to be able to personify the struggles of relationships, self doubt and mental illness for her fans. Usually, emotion within Electronic music is viewed with a level of plasticity to it. There should be no doubt in the genuine passion in Alexandra’s form of electronic music. She may think her admirers should “find someone that’s easier” but I prefer the emotional depth and honesty.

Proof: No / Easy / Church / Awake // Okay (Blush Remix) / No (Paces Remix) / Awake (KRANE Remix) / Easy (Kill Paris Remix)

23. Charli XCX - Pop 2 [Mixtape] Genre: Synth-Pop

Technically released in 2017, but late enough it didn’t make my list last year and got pushed to 2018, Charli returned with her second mixtape in nine months and, for me, my favorite project of hers since her debut album; possibly of her career. Pop 2 is a futuristic electro-pop record where genres are fluid and expression is currency. The thing I feel Charli has sort of unlocked on this project from her past is an ability to really convey emotion through this mechanical pallet she builds her music with. She’s always had a level of passion within her music but outside of a youthful lust and an empowering “fuck everything” the rest of the emotions expressed always felt they were being viewed behind a protective sheet of plexiglass. Songs like “Backseat”, “Lucky” “Tears” and the sneakily genius “Track 10” really show an ability to bring more emotional depth in her songs. Whether it’s in mixtape form (Charli expresses she feels more freedom with mixtapes) or official LPs Charli is showing a growth and maturity in her craft that has me excited for what she may bring in the future.

Proof: Backseat (Feat. Carley Rae Jepson) / Out Of My Head (Feat. Tove Lo & ALMA) / Unlock It (Feat. Kim Petras & Jay Park) / Track 10

22. Madeaux - Burn Genre: Electronic / Dance

I suggest a good stretch, being well hydrated and grabbing a towel before pressing play on this exhilarating whirlwind of melody calisthenics. The official debut LP from the American producer takes the listener of a dark, immersive experience in a world of non-stop kinetic energy and organized chaos. To all the critiques of Electronic music that say it all sounds the same I kindly point them to this album because there isn’t another producer making house music quite like this out there. Burn is a thrilling, fast-paced ride that doesn’t allow much space for the listener to take a breath until it’s finished. I suggest having a post-workout recovery shake handy for after.

Proof: Like A Model (Feat. Poter Elvinger & WILLS) / Run with It (Feat. Tommy Lee Sparta) / Lights Low (Feat. OG Maco, ALGORY & JRich ENT) / Sweat (Feat. Class Actress & Black Atlass)

21. Twin Shadow* - Caer Genre: Alternative / Indie Pop / R&B

Twin Shadow is an artist who has a recognizable, identifiable sound, yet every album of his also sounds different then the other. His debut, 2010s Forget is a disorienting, hazy dream. A unique mixture of R&B, Alternative music covered in haunting synths and distortions; all with an 80’s nostalgia. 2012’s Confess continues the foggy 80’s vernacular but with a more neon light piercing through. The pounding drums and scratchy guitar riffs are more attention grabbing, and the vocals more pronounced. 2015’s Eclipse was a bit of a statement piece. A whole project of stadium anthems meant to be shouted with vigor and emotion. Caer takes a step back on the arena filler to a more resemble the subtle tone of his debut. Except, the 80’s nostalgia isn’t such a driving factor. This is the project by Twin Shadow that sounds the most like the year it was created in, yet still sounds like any other beautiful Twin Shadow record. A natural progression by the versatile artist.

Proof: Saturdays (Feat. HAIM) / Sympathy (Feat. Rainsford) / When You’re Wrong / Too Many Colors

20. Santigold - I Don’t Want: The Gold Fire Sessions [Mixtape] Genre: Indie Pop / Dancehall

Impossible to be confined in one box, Santigold continues her genre hoping she’s made a career of. I Don’t Want is a dancehall inspired mixtape she worked on for the majority during a two week session with the main producer Dre Skull. By stripping the album moniker, there’s a looser and improvised feeling to the project that lends itself well to the culture it is inspired by. You feel Santigold’s admiration for the Afro-Caribbean influenced sound which makes the joy expressed on the album transparently genuine and infectious.

Proof: Run the Road / I Don’t Want / Why Me / Don’t Blame Me (Feat. Shenseea)

19. Matoma - One In a Million Genre: Electronic / House / Dance

Norwegian producer Matoma wants to cast a wide net with his sophomore album here. Both musically and audience-wise. One In A Million is an eclectic electronic music album that not only crosses sub-genres but crosses oceans with its worldly inspirations. From Synth-pop, to trap, to Tropical House, to Reggaeton, Matoma clearly wants to show off his range and diverse interests. One of the best songs of the year was the gospel inspired “Sunday Morning”. I dare anyone to know breakout in uncontrollable dancing when the bellowing hook of that song comes in.

Proof: Sunday Morning (Feat. Josie Dunne) / Lights Go Down (Feat. James Newman) / False Alarm (Feat. Becky Hill) / Heartbeats (Feat. Nina Nesbitt) // Bonus: Sunday Morning [Zookëper Remix] Feat. Josie Dunne

18. RÜFÜS DU SOL - SOLACE Genre: Synth-Pop / Electronic

When lead singer Tyrone croons for someone to take him to a new place on “New Sky” I can’t help but think “dude we already are somewhere new”. Because that’s exactly what the Australian trio’s atmospheric music does, whisks me away on a magic carpet of melodic keyboards, floating synths, pulsating drums and haunting vocal samples. Their previous album, Bloom was a breakthrough for them and their unassuming electronic music to a more worldwide audience. SOLACE takes an even more self-effacing and introspective approach, but should only help them continue to gain admirers.

Proof: New Sky / Lost in My Mind / No Place / Underwater

17. Nao - Saturn Genre: alt-R&B / Neo-Soul

The delicate voice of Nao returns with her smooth and tender sophomore album. Nao’s debut album For All We Know was one of my top five albums of 2016. Saturn picks up right where it’s predecessor left off but with a slight pumping of the breaks. Saturn take a bit more of a traditional R&B approach but in the same pallet Nao has been working on her whole career. The subtle infusion of electronic music still is present building an enthralling drama across the album. The slower tempo leads to a slightly more intimate feeling on this album then before. In the early 2000s R&B was sent to the margins a bit but with 2012’s House Of Balloons and channel.ORANGE being the inflection point R&B has been growing again in the mainstream. Artists like London’s Nao are in the forefront of R&B’s ascent.

Proof: Another Lifetime / Make It Out Alive (Feat. SiR) / Curiosity / Drive and Disconnect

16. Said The Sky - Wide-Eyed Genre: Electronic / Future Bass

American producer Said The Sky drops his first ever full length project that was a long time coming. For those familiar with his early work there is quite a progression from his more dubstep beginnings to this more melodic vernacular. Being a trained pianist Said The Sky’s backing usually starts with a piano riff. Early on this piano riff was used more as a contrasting element; a calming and tender character to then get smacked around by the boisterous and raucous dubstep. Now the piano is utilized more for it’s rhythm as the backbone of the track; a strong complimentary piece rather then contrasting. This is an evolution I personally feel for the better here leading to a sophisticated and potent electronic album, brooding with a surprising amount of emotion and introspection.

Proof: Show & Tell (Feat. Claire Ridgely) / All I Got (w/ Kwesi) / Over Getting Over You (Feat. Matthew Koma) / Superstar (w/ Dabin Feat. Linn)

15. My Brightest Diamond - A Million and One Genre: Synth-Pop / Electronic / Indie Pop

Multi-Instrumentalist My Brightest Diamond has been a shapeshifter her entire career and that continues here with her fifth album. Starting out as a classically trained violinist and then self teaching herself more and more instruments and incorporating new genres in her sound every new project. For A Million and One she takes on Electronic/Dance music in a subtle and euphoric way. Most of the tracks are mid to slower tempo with free flowing synths and and 808 kicks. More dynamic moments are strategically planted throughout like the slow building “Champagne” or the explosive “Supernova”. A Million and One is an subtle, spectacle piece of electro-pop, that straps the listener in and shots them into the stars.

Proof: It’s Me On The Dance Floor / Champagne / Supernova / White Noise

14. Meg Myers* - Take Me To The Disco Genre: Alternative / Rock

I don’t really know how I happened upon Meg Myers music back in 2012, before her debut EP even was released, but I sure am grateful I did. Following the path of her career from that 2012 EP Daughter In The Choir to now has been quite rewarding. Every year new music has been released by Meg the project always is one of my favorites for the year, but Take Me To The Disco is finally her letting all the outside pressure and expectations go and just rocking the fuck out. Switching labels and making music separate from her long time producer Doctor Rosen Rosen, Meg had a newly found freedom on this record which led to a ride full of high, lows and moments of raw unfiltered emotion. Part of Meg’s unique skill when crafting a song is her ability to go from a soft, raspy and unassuming tone to a passion filled roar in seconds. The music knew when to follow suit as well with the main enclosures being acoustical and warm environments with alcoves of thunderous drums and crashing guitars. Whether it’s tranquil moment of vulnerability or impacting pockets of intensity and fierceness, Meg has a newly discovered level of confidence and power.

Proof: Numb / Tear Me To Pieces / Jealous Sea / Done

13. MØ - Forever Neverland Genre: Synth-Pop

For some, the ascension of MØ may have seemed pretty sudden. The mega success that was Major Lazer & DJ Snake’s “Lean On” featuring the Danish singer came a bit out of nowhere to some. I smuggly could say I predicted such an explosion since my introduction or her on Avicii’s “Dear Boy” followed up closely by her 2013 debut EP Bikini Daze. MØ didn’t feel a need to rush things despite the iron being hot as shit and took her time following up her 2014 full length album No Mythologies To Follow. Instead she dropped stellar one-off singles “Kamikaze” “Final Song” “Drum” and “Nights With You” before finally releasing last years EP When I Was Young. Forever Neverland continues on the maturity in her music desolated on her EP of last year. The hooks are still catchy as shit, her sound still has an ability to make you want to get up and move, but there is a further depth in her songs. MØ’s voice always was expressive and emotive but there was also a glossy surface layer that seems to have been stripped away over the years. She now has the confidence to let her voice scratch and wain a bit when a line carries more emotional weight.

Proof: Way Down / I Want You / Beautiful Wreck / Red Wine (Feat. Empress Of)

12. Elohim - Elohim Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop / Dance

The mysterious Elohim has became a go-to collaborator for electronic music projects over the last few years. From Louis The Child, Oliver, Ekali, The Glitch Mob and others, Elohim’s name would pop up; usually on the album’s best track. Her soft and delicate voice always worked great as a juxtaposition to the often kinetic backgrounds. In her solo music, she is her own producer and she shows she is more than just a featured artist but also a contemporary to the other Electronic producers. Elohim is a diverse and incredibly dynamic piece, which surprises the listener with unexpected vocal samples or instrument riffs used in sophisticated ways. Whether is a mariachi horn, trumpet, violin, guitar, or just odd vocal cadences looped, Elohim has developed creative and unique techniques in her production that make a familiar yet singular sound.

Proof: The Wave / Sleepy Eyes (w/ Whethan) / Fuck Your Money / Half Love // Bonus: Eclipse / Connect (w/ Skrillex)

11. Fakear - All Glow Genre: Electronic / Future Bass

French producer Fakear is a newer discovery for me but boy and I glad I found his atmospheric electronic music. Fakear will be quickly compared to ODESZA and the similarities in their sounds are definitely apparent. However, the French DJ’s harmonious music has a bit more of an airy bounce, with some Tropical House infusion. The electronic genre is having a bit of a moment right now yet Fakear is still relatively not well know in the States. I don’t really see that lasting too long though as more find his music.

Proof: Something Wonderful (Feat. Ana Zimmer) / Lost In Time (Feat. Polo & Pan, Noraa & Clement Bazin) / Sacred Feminine (Feat. Ibrahim Maslouf) / Vision (Feat. Claire Laffut)

10. Pusha-T - DAYTONA Genre: Hip Hop

The Clipse debut album Lord Willin’ came out my freshman year of high school and was a very important album for me. Label issues unfortunately led to more mixtapes than albums released by the brother duo before Malice left the group. Luckily Pusha would eventually find himself on Kanye’s record label as his new home. His first two albums released on the record label were both good, but there must be something in the Wyoming air during the recording of this stellar album. As the first of five Kanye West produced albums released during the “Wyoming Sessions” no one really knew what to expect. Kanye’s erratic behavior leading up to the release left a lot of people side eyeing the whole group of projects. Then about 36 seconds into the opening track “If You Know You Know” when after a fiery verse from Pusha, the industrial beat drops, everyone gets an unexpected slap in the face. This is still one of the best producers in the world and we have one of the best lyricists rapping heat over this production. DAYTONA is quite the 20 minute tornado of an album. A focused and concise offering that does what it needs to do and leaves efficiently. Unfortunately, the rest of the “Wyoming Sessions” albums will be a bit of a mixed bag and Kanye’s erratic behavior on continues causing concern for his mental well being. DAYTONA shines bright as the most cohesive and sturdy of those albums with “If You Know You Know” being the best song to come from the whole session. With GRAMMY nominations and ending up at the top of many writers “Year End Lists” it’s time Pusha finally gets his shine Lord WIllin’ seemed to promise, only 16 years later.

Proof: If You Know You Know / The Games We Play / Come Back Baby / Santeria / Infrared

9. The 1975 - A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships Genre: Indie Rock / Alternative / Synth-Pop

Through their first two albums, The 1975 was a band I enjoyed, but also wanted to enjoy more then I actually did. Their 2013 self titled debut album was an entertaining and engaging soiree of synth-pop and alternative music as a new aged love child of The Killers and My Chemical Romance. There was a definite growth and increased dexterity in their second album, 2016’s I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it, as the same influences are present but with a sprinkling of seduction and soul. What always took me out of their projects though was their abundance of influences often working against them. The projects missed a level of connectivity I desire. I appreciated the daring nature of the band to explore but some of those swings didn't feel fleshed out enough to connect completely in the context of the albums. When I first heard one of my favorite songs of 2018 “Love It If We Made It”, I thought something seemed different. It seems the band has finally discovered the missing ingredient; or maybe found the excess ingredient(s) to leave out. A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships is a masterful mixture of experiences and influences with a message really cemented in 2018. The experimentations are a bit more radical, but very strategic and only help build up the motif of the whole album. You can still hear the underlying emo-rockers heartbeat from their debut but this time ran through a Bon Iver inspired auto-tune. The themes of how technology can dictate our lives for better or worse give the whole album a context for any listener to identify with. Songs like “Settle Down” and “Somebody Else” from their first two albums were still in 2018 go-to songs for me; the talent was always there. Seeing the band develop and evolve to make this elaborate project is quite the feat to be respected and admired.

Proof: Give Yourself A Try / Love It If We Made It / I Like America & America Likes Me / Sincerity Is Scary / It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You)

8. 3LAU - Ultraviolet / Ultraviolet (Remixed) Genre: Electronic / Progressive House / Dance

It’s been a long time coming for American DJ 3LAU (Justin David Blau) to finally release this blistering debut. First winning a remix competition for a Tiësto song in 2011, 3LAU made a name for himself over the years as a remix and mashup DJ; intermittently dropping one-off singles here and there. Ultraviolet shows the wait was well worth it. Being a multi-instrumentalist, 3LAU developed his own manipulation techniques of his instrument riffs and vocal samples creating lush melodic environments within his music. The result is a picturesque form of house music that can easily whisk you away in it’s vast, sparkling habitats.

Proof: Touch (Feat. Carly Paige) / Fire (w/ Said The Sky Feat. NÉONHÈART) / Walk Away (Feat. Luna Aura) / Star Crossed / You Want More (Feat. MAX) // Touch [Zeds Dead Remix] (Feat. Carly Paige) / On My Own [3LAU Electro Remix] (Feat. Nevve) / Star Crossed [3LAU DnB Remix] / Walk Away [Hibell Remix] (Feat. Luna Aura) / Fire [Paris Biohm Remix] (w/ Said The Sky Feat. NÉONHÈART)

7. Lykke Li - so sad so sexy Genre: Pop / R&B

Since her debut album in 2008, the vulnerable music of Lykke Li has been a staple in my headphones. I have enjoyed her delicate voice, always ripped with so much emotion matching the impacting lyrics dealing with love and heartbreak. Li’s previous album, I Never Learn was an onslaught of slow and gorgeous, stadium-pop ballads meant to be felt while singing along with at the top of your lungs. The listless themes are continued but this time the album’s expression is more with a glossy, sexy R&B persona; a change I personally am really feeling. With hints of The Weeknd and Rihanna as influences so sad so sexy is Lykke Li’s most sensual sound, one that suits her unique voice and songwriting well.

Proof: hard rain / deep end / sex money feelings die / so sad so sexy / better alone

6. Her - Her Genre: Alternative / Indie Rock/ Soul

Starring an upcoming tragedy in the face, the smooth French duo didn’t waiver or turn to negativity. Instead they focused on life and love. With one of the duo diagnosed with a terminal cancer, together Victor and the ill Simon carefully plotted out their debut album. They released two EPs the previous two years with standout tracks including “Five Minutes”, “Quite Like” and “Swim” which served as a strong introduction to the world, but Simons unavoidable death at age 27 was in August of last year. With the careful pre-planning Victor was able to finish the debut album in his best friend’s memory. Her is a sultry and warm affair. Simon’s bouncy guitar playing, Victors ominous key tones with both of their soft yet confident vocals create a free flowing and sexy sound that is very gracious and admiring of its female muse. Every song has an understatedness to it while it subtly exudes its passion. It’s unknown if Victor will carry on with Her without his best friend, but I am glad they were able to add this exclamation point to Simon’s life.

Proof: Five Minutes / Blossom Roses / Neighborhood / Wanna Be You / Swim (Feat. ZéFire)

5. Bishop Briggs* - Church Of Scars Genre: R&B / Soul / Pop

London born, with Scottish heritage, Bishop Briggs bursts on the scene with this debut album like a strategic boxer. Starting every song with subtle body blows to connect with a potent haymaker every chorus. Her main weapon is a dominant voice that every chorus she lets loose to acts as an imposing yet engaging flex of emotion and power. Born Sarah McLaughlin, Briggs took the name of her parents Scotland hometown as her stage name to not be confused with the well known Canadian singer whose music you hear on sad commercials about puppies. McLaughlin moved around in her childhood from London to Tokyo to Hong Kong to LA and has picked up an amalgamation of influences to use at her disposal in her music. One of the biggest musical influence apparent is her cerebral use of gospel music. Utilized as a form of strength and command at every hard hitting chorus drop which gives room for her tremendous voice to punch your ear drums like a boxing bag.

Proof: Tempt My Trouble / White Flag / River / Hallowed Ground / The Fire

4. DJDS - Big Wave More Fire Genre: Synth-Pop / R&B / Electronic

Timing can be a fickle thing. Sometimes by the slimmest of margins it can go against you, or go in your favor. DJDS’s career seems to be capitalizing on some impeccable timing that is all going in their favor at the moment. First, back in 2016, while finishing up their sophomore album, the LA producing duo were invited to work on Kanye West’s The Life of Pablo album; eventually earning them a GRAMMY nomination. This monster co-sign would help open doors they never had open in their previous years making music. In the two years they spent making this album they collaborated with people that eventually would break out on their own including Empress Of, Amber Mark, Marco McKinnis and Khalid. Those two years are summed up in this fascinating piece of genre blending music. There are moments of bouncy hip hop, sinuous Synth-Pop, Soulful R&B, scenic Indie Pop and fist pumping electronic dance. Big Wave More Fire at times is as infectious as any other pop album and at times can be a bit artistically challenging to the listener, yet never loses its strong sense of place.

Proof: Trees On Fire (Feat. Amber Mark & Marco McKinnis) / Why Don’t You Come On (Feat. Empress Of & Khalid) / I Get By (Feat. Amber Mark & Vory) / Pick Me Up (Feat. Kelly Zutrau, Vic Mensa & Vory) / Falling (Kelly Zutrau & Marco McKinnis)

3. Kasbo* - Places We Don’t Know Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop / Future Bass

ODESZA is building quite a roster on their Foreign Family Collective label including the 23 year old Swedish producer Kasbo. With his debut album here, Kasbo shows he’s more than deserving of being part of this collective with this sonic display of dexterity in melody. Places We Don’t Know is an an album that knows it’s comfort zone and is confident enough to never deviate while also avoiding diluting itself. The glossy electronic textiles that stitch the album together track to track build a cohesiveness that makes it a front to back enjoyable experience; without any drop in quality filler. More exploration in the sound may be desired in future releases to avoid sounding stale, but in terms of a debut this pleasant project introduces him nicely.

Proof: Your Tempo / Aldrig Mer (Feat. TENDER) / Roots (Feat. Amanda Fondell) / Over You (Feat. Frida Sundemo) / Bleed It Out (Feat. Nea)

2. Jacob Banks* - Village Genre: R&B / Soul

The initial and most jarring entity you feel when you enter the universe that is Jacob Banks’ music is the gravitational pull that is his empowered voice. The British singer’s raspy and authoritative vocals can relay both a confident strength and introspective vulnerability in one tone. You are able to personally feel the emotion behind every note that leads to a compelling listen no matter how many times before you’ve heard the song playing.

Banks backs up his mighty voice with equally potent and diverse backings. Some of the songs come equipped with thunderous bass lines and percussions with light keys tap dancing among the turmoil. Some take a more straightforward approach with light and jazzy horns and funky grooves. Then some songs have transparent backdrops that almost go away completely, stripped down to a bare pallet for Jacob to command.

Whatever the situation Banks’ vocal prowess prevails. I predict the accent to continue and at a more exponential pace as more become familiar with the impressive singer.

Proof: Chainsmoking / Love Ain’t Enough / Prosecco / Be Good To Me (Feat. Seinabo Sey) / Unknown (To You)

1 Kendrick Lamar & Top Dawg Entertainment - Black Panther The Album - Music From And Inspired By [Motion Picture Soundtrack] Genre: Hip Hop / R&B

It’s probably getting pretty anticlimactic having Kendrick 1st or 2nd on my lists every year. But for the fourth year in a row Kendrick finds himself here again. Black Panther was one of 2018’s greatest cinematic achievements and smartly they looked to Kendrick to make a vivid and dynamic soundtrack to match.

Kendrick shows he has his finger on the pulse for Hip Hop and R&B in 2018 enlisting some of today’s best including The Weeknd, Vince Staples, Anderson .Paak, Travis Scott and of course members of his TDE crew ScHoolboy Q, Ab-Soul, SZA and others. He grabs some of today’s best up and comers with Khalid, Jorja Smith and SOB X RBE. Surprises us with a couple unexpected James Blake features. And finds some new international artists not very well known in Saudi, Babes Wodumo and an absolute fire verse from Yungen Blakrok.

I cannot express how perfect of a curated Soundtrack this is. The music is diverse enough to cast a wide net but also has an underlying and unifying vernacular throughout to make one cohesive project. The production is rooted in African sounds with poly-rhythmic percussion and themes inspired by African ancestry as well as themes incorporated from the movie itself. Kendrick may or may not have been physically there during most of these recordings but you can feel his direction and influence throughout. His impact is not overpowering or controlling either but rather a supportive and inspiring collaborator that keeps the various ships steered in the correct converging direction. When a o-k but also phoned-in verse by Future is really the album’s low point, you know you’ve done something right.

Most may point to the crowd pleasing (and for good reason) songs like “All The Stars” with SZA and “Pray For Me” with The Weeknd as their album highlights but mine is the sneaky vigorous Vince Staples and Yung Blakrok featured “Opps”, that has quite the bite with it’s bark.

My admiration for Lamar is well documents on this blog. He really is controlling the way progressive and impacting hip hop can grow. Drake may have the numbers, but Kendrick is the more commanding artistic virtuoso making music in 2018. Kendrick knows it damn well and uses T’Calla as a metaphor for his spot on the throne of Hip Hop in the album opener: “Because the king don’t cry, king don’t die, king don’t lie, king give heart, king get by, king don’t fall. Kingdom come, when I come, you know why…”

Proof: Kendrick Lamar & SZA - All The Stars / ScHoolboy Q, 2 Chainz, Saudi & Kendrick Lamar - X / Khalid & Swae Lee - The Ways / Vince Staples, Yugen Blakrok & Kendrick Lamar - Opps / Jorja Smith - I Am / Ab-Soul, Anderson .Paak & James Blake - Bloody Waters / Zacari & Babes Wodumo - Redemption / The Weeknd & Kendrick Lamar - Pray For Me

Others:

Good:

Above & Beyond - Common Ground, Action Bronson - White Bronco, Albin Lee Meldau - About You, Alessia Cara - The Pains of Growing, Allan Rayman - Harry Hand-On, alt-J - Reduxer, Ambrose Akinmusire - Origami Harvest, Aminé - ONEPOINTFIVE [Mixtape], Amnesia Scanner - Another Life, anaïs - before zero, Anderson East - Encore, Anderson .Paak - Oxnard, Ann Marie - Tripolar, Anne-Marie - Speak Your Mind, Apollo Brown & Joell Ortiz - Mona Lisa, Apollo Brown & Locksmith - No Question, Aquilo - ii, Arctic Monkeys - Tranquility Baseu Hotel & Casino, Ariana Grande - Sweetener, A$AP Rocky - TESTING, Atmosphere - Mi Vida Loca, Audio Push - Cloud 909, August Greene - August Greene, Ava Luna - Moon 2, Bad Gyal - Worldwide Angel, Bas - Milky Way, Bazzi - COSMIC, Bea Miller - Aurora, Beach House - 7, Beacon - Gravity Pairs, Bebe Rexha - Expectations, Bekon - Get With The Times, Belly - IMMIGRANT, Big Red Machine - Big Red Machine, Birdman & Jacquees - Lost at Sea 2, Bishop Nehru - Elevators: Act I & II, Bishop Nehru - Emperor’s Nehru Groove [Mixtape], Black Atlass - Pain & Pleasure, The Black Eyed Peas - MASTERS OF THE SUN VOL. 1, Black Milk - FEVER, Black Thought & Salaam Remi - Streams of Thought Vol. 2, The Blaze - DANCEHALL, 6LACK - East Atlanta Love Letter, Blood Orange - Negro Swan, Blu & Nottz - Gods in the Spirit, Titans In The Flesh, B.o.B. - NAGA, Bob Moses - Battle Lines, Bobby V - Electrik, Boogie wit da Hoodie - International Artist, BØRNS - Blue Madonna, Boy Pablo - Soy Pablo, The Breeders - All Nerve, Brez - The Grl., BROCKHAMPTON - iridescence, BROCKHAMPTION - Saturation III, Buddy - Harlan & Alondra, Bun B - Return if the Trill, Camila Cabello - Camila, Camp Cope - How To Socialize & Make Friends, Capital Cities - Solarize, Car Seat Headrest - Twin Fantasy, THE CARTERS (Jay-Z & Beyoncé) - EVERYTHING IS LOVE, Cardi B - Invasion Of Privacy, Cat Power - Wanderer, City Girls - Girl Code, City Girls - PERIOD, Chance The Rapper & Jeremih - Merry Christmas Lil’ Mama Re-Wrapped [Mixtape], Chanti Darling - RNB, Vol. 1, Charlie Puth - Voicenotes, Chelsea Jade - Personal Best, Choker - Honeybloom, Chromeo - Head Over Heels, Chris Dave and the Drumhedz - Chris Dave and the Drumhedz, Christina Aguilera - Liberation, Christine and the Queens - Chris, Chrome Sparks - Chrome Sparks, Claptone - Fantast, Clean Bandit - What Is Love?, Cloud Nothings - Last Building Burning, CloZee - EVasion, Col3trane - BOOT, Courtney Barnett - Tell Me How You Really Feel, Cozz - Effected, Craig David - The Time Is Now, Curren$y, Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist - Fetti, Cut Chemist - Die Cut, Cypress Hill - Elephants on Acid, CZARFACE & MF Doom - CZARFACE Meets Metal Face, Dashboard Confessional - Crooked Shadows, Dave East - P2, David Guetta - 7, Death Cab for Cutie - Thank You for Today, The Decemberists - I’ll Be Your Girl, Denzel Curry - TA13OO, Dillon Francis - WUT WUT, The Diplomats - Diplomatic Ties, Dirty Projectors - Limp Lit Prose, DJ Critical Hype - The DAMN. Chronic [Mixtape], DJ ESCO - Kolorblind, DJ Luke Nasty - Cruise Control, DJ Koze - Knock Knock, DJ Mustard & RJmrLA - The Ghetto, Django Django - Marble Skies, Dr. Octagon - Moosebumps: An Exploration Into Modern Day Horripilation, Domo Genesis & Evidence - Aren’t You Glad You’re U [Mixtape], Drake - Scorpion, Durand Jones & The Indications - Durand Jones & The Indications, Earl Sweatshirt - Some Rap Songs, E^ST - Life Ain’t Always Roses, EDEN - virtigo, Eligh - Last House on the Block, Elephante - Glass Mansion, Elephante - Glass Mansion Remixes, Ella Mai - Ella Mai, Elley Duhé - DRAGON MENTALITY, Emily Warren - Quiet Your Mind, Eric Bellinger - Eazy Call, Estelle - Lovers Rock, Everything Is Recorded - Everything Is Recorded, Evidence - Weather or Not, Excision - Apex, Exitmusic - The Recognitions, E-40 & B-Legit - Connected and Respected, E-40 - Gift Of Gab, Family of the Year - Goodbye Sunshine, Hello Nighttime, Father John Misty - God’s Favorite Customer, Fat Tony & J.KELR - Full Circle, Felix Jaehn - I, FELIX SANDMAN - EMOTIONS, Fischerspooner - Sir, First Aid Kit - Ruins, Flatbush Zombies - Vacation In Hell, Florence + The Machine - High As Hope, Francis & The Lights - Just For Us, Franz Ferdinand - Always Ascending, Freddie Gibbs - Freddie, Fre$h - frēsh•ism, Future & Juice WRLD - Future & Juice WRLD Present… WRLD ON DRUGS, G-Eazy - The Beautiful & Damned, Getter - Visceral, Ghostface Killah - The Lost Tapes, The Glitch Mob - See Without Eyes, The Go! Team - SEMICIRCLE, The Good, The Bad & The Queen - Merrie Land, Gorgon City - Escape, Gorillaz - The Now Now, Greta Van Fleet - Anthem of the Peaceful Army, GRIP - PORCH, Gunplay - ACTIVE, Half Waif - Lavender, Hinds - I Don’t Run, Hollie Cook - Vessel of Love, HONNE - Love Me / Love Me Not, How To Dress Well - The Anteroom, Hovvdy - Cranberry, Hybrid - Light of the Fearless, Ice Cube - Everything Corrupt, IDK - IDK & Friends :), Illa J - John Yancey, Illenium - Awake (Remixes), I’m With Her - See You Around, Imagine Dragons - Origins, The Internet - Hive Mind, Interpol - Marauderm, J. Cole - KOD, Jackie Hill Perry - Crescendo, Jacquees - 4275, Jacques Greene - mixtape [Mixtape], Jade Novah - All Blue, Jaden Smith - The Sunset Tapes: A Cool Tape Story [Mixtape], Jain - Souldier, James Bay - Electric Light, Janine - 99, Janine The Machine - High Places, Jauz - The Wise and The Wicked, Jay Park - Ask Bout Me, Jay Rock - Redemption, Jean Deaux - Krash, Jedi Mind Tricks - The Bridge and the Abyss, Jeff Tweedy - WARM, Jericho Jackson - Khrysis & Elzhi are Jericho Jackson, Jess Glynne - Always In Between, Jessie Reyez - Being Human In Public, Jim Jones - Wasted Talent, Joey Purp - QUARTERTHING, Jonas Blue - Blue, Jorja Smith - Lost & Found, Juice WRLD - Goodbye & Good Riddance, Jungle - For Ever, Justin Timberlake - Man of The Woods, Justine Skye - ULTRAVIOLET, Kacey Musgraves - Golden Hour, Kalin White - Why You Still There?, Kamasi Washington - Heaven and Earth, Kanye West - ye, Kash Doll - Brat Mail [Mixtape], Kayzo - OVERLOAD, Keith Sweat - Playing For Keeps, Kevin Gate - Luca Brasi 3, Keys N Krates - Cura, K.Flay - Everywhere is Somewhere, KIDS SEE GHOSTS (Kanye West & Kid Cudi) - KIDS SEE GHOSTS, Kimbra - Primal Heart, King Tuff - The Other, Kirk Knight - IIWII, The Knocks - New York Narcotics, Kodaline - Politics of Living, Kodie Shane - Young HeartThrob, Kooley High - Never Come Down, The Kooks - Let’s Go Sunshine, KR - In Due Time, Kygo - Kids In Love (Remixes), KYLE - Light of Mine, Lacrae & Zaytoven - Let The Trap Say Amen, Lake Street Drive - Free Yourself Up, Lane 8 - Little By Little, LANY - Malibu Nights, LAUREL - DOGVIOLET, Lauv - I met you when I was 18. (the playlist), Leikeli47 - Acrylic, Lenny Kravitz - Raise Vibration, Leon Bridges - Good Thing, Let’s Eat Grandma - I’m All Ears, Lily Allen - No Shame, Lil Peep - Come Over When You’re Sober, Pt. 2, Lil Wayne - The Carter V, Lissie - Castles, Little Mix - LM5, Lo Moon - Lo Moon, Logic - Bobby Tarantino II [Mixtape], Loyd - Tru LP, LP - Heart to Mouth, Lucy Dacus - Historian, Lupe Fiasco - DRAGOS WAVE, Lyrics Born - Quite A Life, Mac Miller - Swimming, MAJOR. - Even More, Major Lazer - Afrobeats [DJ Mix], Mariah Carey - Caution, Mario - Dancing Shadows, Marion Hill - Unusual, Marsha Ambrosius - Nyla, Marshmello - Joytime II, Masego - Lady Lady, Masta Ace & Marco Polo - A Breukelen Story, Matthew Dear - Bunny, Mayorkum - The Mayor of Lagos, Medasin - Irene, Meek Mill - Championship, Melody’s Echo Chamber - Bon Voyage, Meshell Ndegeocello - Ventriloquism, Method Man - Meth Lab 2: The Lithium, Metric - Art of Doubt, MGMT - Little Dark Age, Mick Jenkins - Pieces of a Man, The Midnight - Kid, Migos - Culture II, MihTy - MIH-TY, Mike Shinoda - Post Traumatic, Mike WiLL Made-It - Creed II: The Album (Music Inspired by the Motion Picture), Mikky Ekko - FAME, Mimicking Birds - Layers Of Us, Mirah - Understanding, Mitski - Be The Cowboy, Miyah Folick - Premenitions, Moon Taxi - Let The Record Play, Morgan Saint - ALIEN, Mr Eazi - Life Is Eazi, Vol. 2 - Lagos to London, Mulatto - Mulatto, Mumford & Sons - Delta, Murs - A Strange Journey Into The Unimaginable, Muse - Simulation Theory, Myá - T.K.O. (The Knock Out), The Naked and Famous - A Still Heart, Nas - NASIR, Natalie Prass - The Future and the Past, Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats - Tearing at the Seams, Nef The Pharaoh - The Big Chang Theory, The Neighbourhood - The Neighbourhood, Ne-Yo - GOOD MAN, N.E.R.D. - NO_ONE EVER REALLY DIES, Nick Grant - Dreamin’ Out Loud [Mixtape], Nicki Minaj - Queen, NIKI - Zephyr, Nile Rodgers & CHIC - It’s About Time, Nipsey Hussle - Victory Lap, NJOMZA - Vacation, nobigdyl. - SOLAR, Noname - Room 25, N.O.R.E. - 5E, Now, Now - Saved, NR - Before It’s Too Late, ODIE - Analogue, Onra - Nobody Has To Know, Ookay - WOW! COOL ALBUM!, Pac Div - 1st Baptist, Pale Waves - My Mind Makes Noises, Passenger - Runaway, Parliament - Medicaid Fraud Dogg, Parquet Courts - Wide Awake!, Paul McCartney - Egypt Station, Paul Simon - In the Blue Light, Penelope Trappes - Penelope Two, A Perfect Circle - Eat the Elephant, Peter Bjorn and John - Darker Days, Phonte - No News Is Good News, Phony Ppl - mō’zā-ik, Phora - Love Is Hell, P-LO - PRIME, pluko - sixteen, Poo Bear - Poo Bear Presents: Birthday Music, Popcaan - Forever, Poppy - Am I A Girl?, Porches - The House, Post Malone - beerbongs & bentleys, Preme - Light of Day, Prince - Piano & a Microphone 1983, Princess Nokia - A Girl Cried Red [Mixtape], Prolifgate - Somewhere Else, PRyhme - PRhyme 2, Quavo - Quavo Huncho, Ralph - A Good Girl, RAY BLK - Empress, Rhye - Blood, Reason - There You Have It, R3HAB - The Wave, Rezz - Certain Kind of Magic, Rich Brian - Amen, Rita Ora - Phoenix, RL Grime - NOVA, RL Grimes - NOVA (The Remixes, Vol. 1), RL Grimes - NOVA (The Remixes, Vol. 2), Robyn - Honey, Rome Fortune - Beautiful Pimp 3, ROOSEVELT - Young Romance, Royce Da 5’9” - Book of Ryan, R+R=NOW - Collagically Speaking, Russ - ZOO, Ryan Beatty - Boy In Jeans, Saba - CARE FOR ME, Sabrina Calaudio - No Rain, No Flowers, St. Beauty - Running To The Sun, SAINt JHN - Collection One, San Holo - album1, Sango - In The Comfort Of, Sean Paul - Mad Love: The Prequel, Shamir - Revelation, Sheppard - Watch The Sky, Shopping - The Official Body, Sidney Gish - No Dogs Allowed, Sigala - Brighter Days, Simian Mobile Disco - Murmurations, SiR - November, SKYGGE - Hello World, Skyzoo - In Celebration of Us, Slushii - DREAM, Smashing Pumpkins - SHINY AND OH SO BRIGHT, VOL. 1 / NO PAST. NO FUTURE., Smino - NOIR, Snail Mail - Lush, S’natra - Subject To Change, Snoop Dogg - Snoop Dogg Presents Bible of Love, Snow Patrol - Wildness, Soccer Mommy - Clean, Sofi Tukker - Treehouse, Son Lux - Brighter Wounds, SOPHIE - OIL OF EVERY PEARL’S UN-INSIDES, Starchild & The New Romantic - Language, Stefflon Don - SECURE [Mixtape], Steve Angello - Human, Steve Aoki - Neon Future III, Steve Hauschildt - Dissolvi, Stonie Blue - Blood Y Moi [Mix], Stro - Nice 2 Meet You, Again, Styles P - Dime Bag, Styles P - G-Host, Summer Walker - Last Day of Summer, Summerella - First Day of Summer, Surpentwithfeet - soil, Swearin’ - Fall Into The Sun, Swizz Beatz - POISON, Tamia - Passion Like Fire, Tammy Rivera - Fate, Teyana Taylor - K.T.S.E., Thatshymn - Pacific Standard Time, Thunderpussy - Thunderpussy, T.I. - DIME TRAP, Tinashe - Joyride, The Ting Tings - The Black Light, Tirzah - Devotion, Tokyo Jetz - Bonafide, Tokyo Police Club - TCP, Tom Misch - Geography, Tommy Genesis - Tommy Genesis, Toni Braxton - Sex & Cigarettes, Toni Romiti - Tomboy, Tory Lanez - LoVE me NOw, Tory Lanez - MEMORIES DON’T DIE, Towkio - WWW., Tracey Thorn - Record, Traci Braxton - On Earth, Travis Scott - ASTROWORLD, Trevor Jackson - Rough Drafts, Pt. 1, Trevor Powers - Mulberry Violence, Trey Songz - 11 [Mixtape], Trey Songz - 28 [Mixtape], TroyBoi - V!BEZ, Vol. 2, Troye Sivan - Bloom, Tunde Olaniran - Stranger, tune-yards - i can feel you creep into my private life, Two Feet - A 20 Something Fuck, Tyga - Kyoto, Unknown Mortal Orchestra - Sex & Food, Until The Ribbon Breaks - Until The Ribbon Breaks, Usher & Zaytoven - “A”, UZ - The Rebirth, The Vamps - Day & Night (Day Edition), Vance Joy - Nation Of Two, Various Artists - Fifty Shades Freed [Motion Picture Soundtrack], Various Artists - Ninjawerks, Vol. 1, Various Artists - Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse (Soundtrack From & Inspired by the Motion Picture), Various Artist - Uncle Drew [Original Motion Picture Soundtrack], Vicktor Taiwò - First Movement, Victoria Monet - Life After Love, Pt. 1, Victor Oladipo - V.O., Wild Nothing - Indigo, What So Not - Not All The Beautiful Things, Wet - Still Run, Wiz Khalifa - Rolling Papers 2, The Wombats - Beautiful People Will Ruin Your Life, WSTRN - DOU3LE 3AK, Xzibit, B-Real & Demrick - Serial Killers: Day of the Dead, Years & Years - Palo Santo, Yellow Claw - New Blood, YG - STAY DANGEROUS, Yhung T.O. - Trust Issues, Young Fathers - Cocoa Sugar, Young The Giant - Mirror Master, Youngr - This Is Not An Album, ZAYN - Icarus Fall, Ziggy Marley - Rebellion Rises, Zion I - Ritual Mystik, Zion I & DJ Fresh - The Tonight Show [Mixtape], ZHU - Ringo’s Desert, Z-Ro - Sadism, 5 Seconds of Summer - Youngblood, 88GLAM - 88GLAM2, 88rising - Head in the Clouds

Meh:

Ace Hood - Trust The Process II: Undefeated, Amen Dunes - Freedom, Animal Collective - Tangerine Reef, AWALNATION - Here Comes The Runts, BANDGANG - In Too Deep, Benny - Different, Caitlyn Smith - Starfire, Carnage - Battered Bruised & Bloody, The Chainsmokers - Sick Boy, cupcakKe - Eden, cupcakKe - Ephorize, Curren$y - Parking Lot Music, Curren$y & Harry Fraud - The Marina, Daughters - You Won’t Get What You Want, Dave East - Karma 2, Dave Matthews Band - Come Tomorrow, DJ Critical Hype - More 9th (Drake & 9th Wonder Mash Up), DOM KENNEDY - Volume Two, Don Toliver - Donny Womback, Eminem - Kamaze, Fetty Wap - For My Fans, Fetty Wap - Bruce Wayne, Frankie Cosmos - Vessels, Future - BEASTMODE 2, G Herbo & Southside - Swervo, Ganja White Night - The Origins, Helena Hauff - Qualm, Hop Along - Bark Your Head Off, Dog, HUNCHO JACK (Travis Scott & Quavo) - HUNCHO JACK, Jack Huncho, Jean Grae & Quelle Chris - Everything’s Fine, Jeezy - Pressure, Keith Ape - BORN AGAIN, Kevin George - Hopeless Romantic, Larry June - Very Peaceful, Lil Durk - Just Cause Y’all Waited, Lil Pete - 4EverFocused, Lucis - Nude, MadeinTYO - Sincerely, Tokyo, Metro Boomin - NOT ALL HEROES WEAR CAPES, Matt and Kim - Almost Everyday, MGMT - Little Dark Age (Matthew Dear Album Remixes), MIKE - Black Soup [Mixtape], Mr Twin Sister - Salt, Nightmares On Wax - Shape the Future, OSHUN - Bittersweet, Vol. 1, Owl City - Cinematic, Palm - Rock Island, Prof - Pookie Baby, Raury - The Woods, Rae Sremmurd - SR3MM, Red Cafe - Less Talk More Hustle, Reese LAFLARE - Reese LAFLARE, Rich The Kid - The World Is Yours, Rico Nasty - Nasty, SHIRT - Pure Beauty, Shy Boys - Bell House, Slim Thug - The World Is Yours, Slum Village - The Lost Scrolls, Vol. 2 [Mixtape], Social Club Misfits - Into The Night, Steve Perry - Traces, Takeoff - The Last Rocket, Too $hort - The Sex Tape Playlist, Trae Tha Truth - Hometown Hero, Various Artists - Future Presents: SUPERFLY (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Various Artists - 9th Wonder Presents: Jamla is the Squad II, We The King’s - Six, Westside Gunn - Supreme Blientele, Wifisfuneral - Ethernet, Yves Tumor - Safe In the Hands of Love, Zaytoven - Trapholizay, 03 Greedo - God Level, 24hrs - HOUSES ON THE HILL

Bad:

Eminem - Revival, Jack White - Boarding House Reach, Kay! & Kenny Beats - 777, Lil Baby - Harder Then Ever, Quintin Miller - Q.M., Sheck Wes - MUDBOY, Starlito - At WAR With Myself Too, Trouble & Mike WiLL Made-It - Edgewood [Mixtape]

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thanidiel · 6 years ago

Text

Choices

Prompt 11: World Building, First Person What if World of Warcraft took a different turn with its inspiration? What if the game was actually based entirely around science fantasy, particularly cyberpunk? I was a cheesy bitch and did The Modern AU(™). For a long piece, use what skills you’ve learned and practiced to narrate AS your character in this different world.

What would their occupation be? What is the world like? Factions? Races? Conflicts? Try to write about a normal or abnormal day for your character in this world—is their name different too? Write in your character’s perspective, and take on a very in-depth look of a different personality and worldview.

[I was very cheesy and went balls deep into a Modern AU story to exercise a more modern narrative style. Lots of references to others and events from World of Warcraft roleplay or Thanidiel’s background, try to catch them all. alsoimsorrythiswassolong.

Mentions: @jessipalooza @stormandozone @captainswingbeard @azriah @immunologist @kinari ]

“Alright, alright. Just, shut the fuck up for, like, I don’t know, an hour. Ethan, cradle your beer, you’re good at that. Elena… I don’t gotta tell you shit.

Let’s start with… the beginning.

So, let’s just get this shit out of the way. Auberry, up in Fresno County, California. Small-time fucking town. My dad was a new recruit to the police department, there. First-generation son to some Lithuanians that couldn’t read shit for English. My mom is a Mono Indian, from the Big Sandy Rancheria next door.

1990, Dad knocked her up when she was in town. I was the result, that she passed right back to Dad. Grew up happy without her, ran around just fine with myself, my Staffordshire, Ted, and all of the neighborhood backdoors left open. Grandparents were out of the picture by then, and Dad had shit hours, so it was up to the Abuelas and Grandma Sallys. Suited all of us just fine.

One day, Dad gets shot up breaking up a domestic dispute. I was six. And as much as we all want to think about those crazy stories up on Reddit and Facebook, no one fucking walks away from a hunting rifle. His coworkers stopped by, took me to the tribe headquarters in town to figure out what to do with me. Off to Big Sandy they sent my ass. I hear the Grandma next to us took Ted.

As much as I want to say things got more chill from there, it didn’t. See, my mom was half-white, already. Mix that with some straight-out-of-Europe dude, and you get a blue-eyed blonde haired kid running around with the Mono. Mom didn’t want me either, and she made that damned clear to the elders, so I was back to being a community effort on a new Grandma’s sofa.

Bless Grandma, she tried. Fed me. Taught me a handful of Monachi. Taught me how to fucking read and write English. Driving, eventually. Hooked me up with a new dog too when I got there, Tamuapaya, albino-assed thing. All of the good parental shit you’re supposed to do, with everything she had.

I ended up as black of a sheep as it gets, though. Scraped with the other kids whenever we crossed each other, dogs got in on it too. Adults couldn’t fucking stand me outside of Grandma ‘cause I didn’t think they deserved anything but lip. And, let me just say, it’s fucking awkward when you realize you’re a fag, hours out from a real city. I was never really accepted with them outside of cook-outs, but that was when you had to take everyone registered in the tribe.

Eventually, I get old enough to start itching to work. So I start the uphill battle of doing the most shit possible small-jobs for the most shit payout for these folk, and as you two know, I am stubborn as fucking shit about my work. So I did every bit of work they pissed at me, with fucking excellence.

Then that got too small when I was like, fifteen, and wanted some real fucking cash. The other black sheep got me then, and let me know it was easy money running drugs between us, peeps at the Casino, Auberry, and Fresno. Next thing I know, I’m sitting in a truck bed heading to Fres’ at 1 A.M. in the morning to pick up with them.

Didn’t take long for Grandma to figure out I wasn’t running off to catch friends at Auberry. She switched me more times than I can remember to try to beat it out of me. Didn’t work, and she didn’t have any full-on proof to get others in it, either - hid the FUCK out of the cash and what we were distributing.

So, eventually, I’m like… seventeen? And I’m passing crack to this military guy visiting relatives in Auberry and wanted some fun up by the Casino. And when he puts the cash in my hand and I put the bag in his, he doesn’t tell me to fuck off. He gives me a good look, asks how old I am, I tell him, and he asks me what the fuck am I going to do out here for another seventy years. I don’t even get to answer when he tells me I should get the fuck out of here, go talk to a recruiter at Fres’.

That got me thinking, so a year later, I’ve found all of my documents and shit in Grandma’s house. I have a pile of cash. And I want to get the fuck out of this shithole. I stuff it all into my backpack, I go with the boys to Fres’. I dump off all of my shit into Christian’s bag; free myself of it. I take a bus to get my ass right to the opposite end of the city. Spend my night in a homeless shelter with my backpack underneath my shirt and sweater, my arms wrapped around it, sleeping on my stomache, and a switch under the extra jacket I was using a pillow.

Next day, I get a free gym trial. I shower and make myself look as respectable as I need. After that, I open up a Bank of America and drop the eight-k. I had into my first savings. I keep three-hundred on me, I grab some Burger King, and I make my way to the Army recruiter.

Guy helps me get set up because it’s like the third time in my life I’ve done paperwork excluding the bank, which did like… everything, for me. After that, it’s floating between the shelter, gym, and getting odd jobs helping at taquerias and panaderias, with their dishes or pushing garbage and carts around for a month. Taking all of those damned test and then waiting for them to process. Grabbed an iPhone 3G during the wait, that was pretty cool.

Fort Jackson for a year, as it goes. Nothing significant in the grand scheme of things; shit was fresh hell, but nothing I couldn’t handle. For the most part. Met Casey there. My age. Actually graduated H.S., attending community nearby for sports medicine. It would still be another two years before fags could be open in the military, but we… got together. When we could. You could—… it was dating. We started dating when I was in B.C.T. And made it work after that.

After basic, I get hauled off all over the place. Okinawa, Hawaii, Ansbach. Mid-2011, they let us be out and loud in the U.S. military. Bad move for my career, but, first thing I did when I took my leave is fuck Casey and ask her to marry me. No ring or any big romantic gesture, we didn’t work like that. She said, yeah, sure. The process went underway, it’s all done by the time I’m heading back to like, Fort Irwin.

We’re separated for a while, then, like, she graduated, because she was a lot fucking smarter than me. And she started living with me on base. Which is fucking awesome. It’s not what I asked for, because she had all of this potential to work with back at home. But, hey, she wanted to travel too. We had our years, we were fucking twenty-years old. I let her come.

So we fucked around in South Korea, Alaska, Italy, it’s almost a blur after everything. Eventually, I get put out in Camp K.A.I.A. in Afghanistan. She’s back in Kansas, ‘cause, naturally, they’re hesitant on letting me drag a U.S. civy out there of all bases. It’s seven months into my deployment, she wants to visit and I let her.

April 28th, 2014. I took her out, a bit south of the airport in city proper for a meal, in the early morning. We were eating lamb korma with turnips— I still can’t fucking handle smelling and eating lamb. Or any soft fucking food: deuces to mashed potatoes and bolognese. God.

So we were eating—… we were eating that. And there was an airplane with a fucked engine that had been making its way towards the airport. It didn’t get close to the runaway. It veered and dropped, right into the city. The wing went right through our building.

I was sitting northward. She was sitting southward. My mind slowed down time, and I watched the way all of this debris and broken cable and a fucking airplane slammed into her back. She hits the table and it’s shooting off. All I see is blood and curry everywhere, then it hits me, too.

I wake up in the hospital two days later. My head feels like shit because my brain got ping-ponged. A sheet of metal opened up my torso from collar to hip, and a piece of flying drywall smashed my right cheek and orbital socket. They couldn’t save the eye. The ceiling falling after meant some heavy shit landed onto my left hand. They couldn’t save that either. And they couldn’t save Casey. She died on contact.

—I’m fine, by the way. Just pass over the whiskey. I’m not finished.

Cutting that long story of recovery short, I stabilize. They get to Landstuhl in Germany. Eventually, I end up back in the States. Sans eye and hand. A little ugly, now, too. Medical discharge. Sucks, but I’m hooked up with a nice prosthetic, at the least. That all takes about eight months to wrap up - not a lot of interest in keeping an uneducated, handless, soldier around.

And, you know, that’s where you come in, Ethan. I don’t think Elena knows this part about us, so bear with me. Ethan, here, was my Sergeant for a damned while. His ass phased out in ‘13. We always got along great, he kept up with us babies even when he was out. Group texts were a great invention; Snapchat groups even better. Now we both get to see all of the stupid shit the rest of those idiots are doing on deployment.

Ethan is basically like my fucking dad. So when fates aligned and I was in the Brooklyn military hospital, he started driving down from his apartment in the city, seeing me about once a week on his weekends. Then, when I was out, he offered me a place to stay, no costs. Naturally, I fucking took it. The last thing I was going to do now that I was out, was gonna walk my ass back to the Mono in that Cali shithole. Not fucking smart to be alone after the shit that had happened.

And, honestly? It worked really well. I used the time he’d be gone with his job at the nearby library to do… basically all of the adult shit I didn’t do in the military. Got my license, borrowing the car from his coworker and our close friend, Esther (nice girl, did volleyball and track for high-school and college, then decided she liked things quiet). Took the bus to therapy with a guy through the V.A., ‘till I grabbed a beat up 2009 Chevy truck from Craigslist. Eventually, started classes for a G.E.D. too. Collected my military checks, saved it all and got pocket-money with a part-time at some flower hippy’s cafe—and, you know, I never realized how fucking hard it is to make legit money in the ‘real world’ until then. Ethan, you’re a fucking saint. Like, three-hundred or whatever a week? Chump ass change compared to when I bounced with the kids in Fres’.

All of that good shit. Plus, it was nice that we both had a drinking buddy. And we both had a way of navigating each other’s bullshit well. Like, Elena, you just heard my wife-story. And you’ve heard about the fire, too. It’s not the fucking same, but it worked out that we had about an inkling of what to do when the other dude’s fucked up.

Eventually, it’s the day for appointment hell. Check up, physical therapy, actual therapy, then likely, a stop by the pharmacist. It’s like, early ‘16, at this point. And before we even get started, the doctor sits me down. Starts talking about this experimental stem-cell research, for organ implantation. Taylor says it’s not at a complex enough stage to restore my hand, but my eye and facial scars would be within the window of possibility. Gives me a card for a Brianna Lalwani-Jindal if I’m interested in volunteering for it.

I get through the day. I finally catch a meal at Jersey Mike’s, and after me and Ethan talk about it over some Coors, like if I wanna do it and how it feels fucking weird, to like, erase what happened to Casey through this, I say, sure, I’ll call. It’s like, eight P.M. She answers like four seconds before it just shoots to her voicemail. The bitch fucking slurs out like she snorted too much Vico, “—yeah, I know I’m fucking late, I’ll be there, I prooomise.”

So me and Ethan pick our jaws off the floor hearing this shit and I’m like, “Nah, Tony Dawson. Doctor Taylor Woodson at the Brooklyn V.A. Hospital referred me to you, about your research trials with the organ implantation. Lalwani?”

There’s a gasp, a lot of shuffling, and a lot of me and Ethan passing around another beer can between us. Then she really starts spilling and it becomes a game of my fucking brain trying to comprehend this Indian accent mixed with that lightspeed fucking way people from those big cities talk, like “Oh shit, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, you’ve got me. Where do you live? What are you missing? When can I meet you? Tomorrow?”

So I tell her about my fucked-up face, but really, I want to know what the fuck I just got myself into with this chick. I don’t get the chance, she blurts out over me, “Sounds great! EYE will see you later, Tony. Tomorrow. Four P.M., Just… show back at the Hospital. We’ll find a vacant office. Ciao.” Then the fucker hangs up. Eventually, we decide that I should probably text the number back, at least. My ‘See you then.’ gets back a kissy-face and ‘I like coffee.’ Subtle.

A vanilla latte and unsweetened black tea, fifteen minutes of us wandering the Hospital, thirty minutes of her talking my ear off about a bunch of medical-scientific garbage, then five minutes of us filling out all of the paperwork, and I was Bri’s new, shiny, case study.

Skipping over all of the shit she ran my face through, we’ll sum it up as: I need contacts and I fucking hate it, but she did what she set out to do. The meetings themselves, were more interesting. I don’t know if she like, fucking sensed that I’d let her get away with her shit. But I’m going to assume that, since she still has her fucking job.

It got unprofessional, pretty fast. Like, beyond what she already hit me with. I’m not sure what got into me, honestly. I hadn’t even considered another girl since the crash. But I spent our introductions looking at her like a piece of meat whenever her back was turned. First real meeting, she’s prodding me about all of my personal interests and shit in some fucked small talk, starting to get into my dating life. I take a risk and just drop straight out that I dig chicks.

She gets a bit quiet, which doesn’t make much of a difference because it’s clear already that she’s a fucking loudmouth. But she gets curious, and keeps looking at me after that the whole time I’m there. Then the meeting after that, we ended up on some fucking talk about blindfolds for some reason, and let me just say that she got a little too into that before we started talking about how, like, I needed to turn down my drinking.

So the whole time I’m letting her and the other doctors Frankenstein my face, there is sexual tension to cut with at every goddamned interaction to be had. It never gets anywhere, because neither of us are fucking stupid. But, just, Jesus Christ.

Cut to a year later at the end of 2016. My face is put back together. Getting used to fucking contacts, getting used to checking my emails for interview requests out of the wazoo for five-hundred documentaries and news sites, after her team’s paper on me came out. By all accounts, I’m looking good and so is the implant. She’s onto new volunteers, my appointments are getting passed to another doctor on her team and stretched out to semi-annuals. That should be the end of the story.

But, uh, couldn’t get her out of my head, frankly. Not for a lack of trying, either. By now, I was really amping the weights at gym to try to get my energy out. Quit the hippy cafe and lined up a new job in armed security. Did my registration for online classes at the community, for a Statistics program. Eventually, it’s like, I don’t know, two months, after the last time I saw her. Ethan drags me out to a bar. Ethan fucks off. I meet a girl, some rich one, named Valencia. We get to talking, for like, fifteen minutes. Next thing I know, I’m texting Ethan I’ll show up later and I spent the night at her place.

It’s fucking great, Valencia’s fucking great. But I’m texting Bri the next afternoon at Starbucks that I want to see her that goddamned night. She shoots me the address of another bar, says to bring friends. Naturally, that means I tag in Ethan and Esther. We show up, she has good ol’ Elena here.

Everyone clicks just like that. And that’s fucking great. Lots of material to work through, especially when Bri started going on about how she and Elena met; some wild case when she was a med. student and the Roma communities in the whole state were having outbreaks. Apparently Elena helped with her outreach a lot, a sort of guide between worlds. Then the two quiet girls started going on about their herb gardens, not to even mention all of the stupid military stories me and Ethan had. We hung out for a long ass while. Eventually, we’re all back at Bri’s place. And our BOI Ethan, here, finally communicates what’s up to you and Esther. So Esther ‘takes you two out to for fast food’ and out of our hairs.

Shit takes even shorter than Valencia. Bri locks the door, we fuck. Then I wake up in the morning, wake her up for another fuck. We sleep around, get some take-out for a late… brunch… hang out, I end up taking her with me to that huge football party Tim was hosting and meeting up with the whole friend group. Then it’s just straight back to her place for a repeat performance.

So, basically, it went from zero to like we had always been fucking dating. I practically moved in with her after the first two weeks. I know all of my stuff ended up in there by the fourth month. Then we put me on the lease entirely sometime during the seventh month when she was renewing it. It all flowed natural as shit too, I didn’t even know how ‘fast’ we were going ‘till about the third time I was throwing shit I needed into boxes to toss at Bri’s and Ethan called me the fuck out when he asked: I just said it’s convenient with how much closer to work she is.

And I know a lot of people were, and still do, giving me shit about it, or just about the whole relationship in general. Apparently we talk too hard at each other and act too casual for it to be serious. Looks like some sorta fling, especially considering our ‘differences’ as people put it. You know, racist people, or people who think I’m fucking stupid ‘cause I got a gun in the drawer.

But lemme just say that I think it takes some real fucking balls in a person, where the first time she ever woke up to me having a PTSD episode, is to slide her ass out of bed, rummage through my coat for my medication, and slap my benzos in front of me with leftover tea and a Crunch bar. All without a single word. It takes real balls, any other person, after getting that from her, is just a discount bitch.

It’s not all her pampering me, either. I realized quick she’s a ‘talker’ with her research. If she isn’t with one of us, she’s locked in the bedroom with a stack of journal articles and a Macbook talking off Luke’s ears like he can fucking bark back. So I started reading everything she had and really going over her team’s paper on me, plus whatever the fuck else her scholar databases had, and a lot of Dictionary.com. And, one weekend, she’s complaining to me over coffee and tea about her shit, I pop that shit right back at her, her jaw drops, she probably shits herself a little. And, from then on, I’m her new interactive rubber duck. And people think I’m fucking dumb.

I mean, not to mention all of the random shit I pay for that bitch, with all of the money I’ve been getting lately between disability, financial aid, and work.

So, we’re basically to the present now. There isn’t much detail to fill in after that besides that life is pretty fucking great and Bri is pretty fucking great, from then to now, the middle of Year of Our Lord, 2018. Which takes us to the crux of this whole ass speech I’ve been going on.

Now you two know my life-story. What I wanna know, now that we’re all open and drunk here, is your fucking thoughts on if I’d be making the best, or the worst, decision of my life if I asked her to hitch with me. I’ll be fucking real; I don’t fucking know what it’s like to make a good choice besides like, I don’t know, where to buy my graphics cards.”

I watch the two shitfaces in front of me process what the fuck I just said. Elena brightens like the Irish daisy she is, pressing her hands together, abso-fucking-lutely wiggling in her seat. Her purple scarf slides off the back of the chair in the process. Ethan is still stretched out across the whole damned table like he’s gonna pass out, with the dopiest smile stretching across his face, but as usual, he’s the ‘loud’ one of the two and starts to talk over Elena’s vague ‘Oh… oh…!’

“Dude? That’s… that’s great. That’s really fucking great. I… Man. Fucking, just fucking go for—”

“So are we just a homeless shelter now, or like, is this a reverse Alcoholics Anonymous?” The door slams shut, Luke is rushing off of the couch, and all four of us are just JEERING (barking) Bri’s name back at her, like it makes it fucking better that these idiots are still in the apartment.

“I was thinking homeless shelter and giving them the living room.”

“Cool. Maybe the floor’ll delay Ethan breaking his back another day.”

“Hey… hey, man. I ain’t that old.”

“Oh! Don’t say that - what if it does happen?”

Twiddle Gray and Twiddle Orange are both looking at me funny right now, considering what was cut into, and Bri is starting to pick that up as she’s putting her keys and shit away.

“So! What were you all talking about? Are you finally leaving me?”

“Food, actually. We were thinking that Himalayan place you like. They can eat the basic bitch shit, I was gonna grab us fried okra and tandoori.”

“I hope you aren’t expecting me to pick my ass up from the couch, now. That shit, ain’t happening. Long day working with by-the-book dunderfucks.”

The Twiddles give each a look, then, and then Ethan launches in.

“Nah… naaaaah. You know what? You sit there. You hang out. The three of us will walk down, sober up.”

“With how you made my fucking apartment smell, not sure if that’s gonna happen. But ‘kay. Have fun, leave me all alone. After I just came back from work. A l o n e.”

The three of us are already draining our waters and grabbing our jackets and wallets. I push Elena towards the door and Ethan is right after her as I shoot back at her,

“Shut the fuck up, you whiny bitch. Thirty minutes. You’d be spending it ignoring us and doing your shitty Buzzfeed quizzes anyway.”

“I mean - you’re right. But you’re still leaving me alone. Shit friends. Shit girlfriend,” she sighs, “What a shit life.”

Elena is the one pushing me through the door now by my arm, forcing me and Ethan’s fat asses into the hallway as she tries to assure Bri.

“It’ll be fast! I love you!”

“Awh. That’s cute.”

The door slams shut.

#writing #thanidiel #bricini #ithanar #elleynah #veya #taeonthrial #esheyn

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yeoldontknow · 7 years ago

Text

As Still As Sound: Prologue

Author’s Note: i really didn’t think i’d start another series so soon, really i didn’t. but this came to me one night, and i feel like i’m going to scream if i don’t write it. this story is basically a love note from me to a lot of different things; some of it is personal, some of it is fictional, a lot of it is me doing something i never do and writing real, true love story. i hope you enjoy this prologue!

Summary: Two years after soulmate bonds are formed in our universe, and still the world is reeling from the connections. Everyone seems to be affected, except you. You seem to think you’ve been left out and forgotten, though you don’t really want a soulmate at all. All you really want is to be alone with your music…

O/C’s Spotify song this chapter: Blow - Ghinzu (music for each chapter will be the song the reader/oc/you is listening to)

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader (oc; female)

Genre: Soulmate!AU; fluff; angst; drama; sci-fi; eventual smut

Rating (this chapter): PG

Warnings (this chapter): references to threats of self-harm

Word Count: 5,024

METRO UK APRIL 8, 2013

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW! FIRST UK SOULMATE PAIR DISCOVERED: TWO YEARS ON

Anita and Wesley Goulding made history on this day in 2011 as the first couple in the UK to find their soulmate after the Era Shift. They’ve sat down with us today to discuss how they met, the struggles they endured in the early days of finding one another, and why they think the new soulmate process is a double edged sword.

Q: Congratulations on two years!

Anita: Thank you! It really doesn’t feel like it. I wake up every morning and see him, and I somehow fall more in love with him.

Wesley: I honestly don’t know what I was doing in my life before I met her. It’s been the most magical two years.

Q: Finding your soulmate is different for everyone. Tell us what happened to you both, as the first.

A: Well, I don’t think we were technically the first [laughs], but I think we were the first to find each other and document it in some way, or at least reach out on a national level to alert people that this was happening? But, for me, I woke up one morning knowing I wasn’t alone in my mind. I know that sounds terrifying or awful, but it actually felt comforting. I could feel him there, sort of at the side, all day until I was able to hear his thoughts.

W: Yes, I woke up that day feeling like I was warm. Warm sounds like a silly way to describe it, but I could feel her presence and it just made me feel good, like down to the core.

A: I think we went about two days before we could talk to one another. It was a constant inner monologue. I wanted to tell him everything the second I heard his voice.

Q: How did you end up meeting or finding each other?

A: We were quite lucky that we only lived about an hour away from each other. We suggested meeting in Bristol for the day because it meant we’d have things to do, and we could leave whenever we wanted if it went badly. He waited for me at the train station and when I saw him by the platform it felt like seeing the sun for the first time.

W: I was quite nervous meeting her because already I knew that I was in quite deep. To be honest, I wasn’t even thinking about if I’d find her attractive because I already knew I would. Everything about her felt right, and when she came off the platform it was like having my breath stolen from me but paradoxically, I could breathe easier knowing she was there and she was mine.

Q: Had you been in a relationship during your time discovering one another?

W: No, and I think again we were lucky in that regard. We’ve all heard stories about people already being married, engaged, or in serious relationships learning that they aren’t soulmates. We were both single and I think that’s why we were able to surrender to the magic of it.

A: I don’t know how we would have handled it had we already been committed to other people. The pull towards him is irresistible and I have great respect for those who are going through that tough situation right now.

[…]

THE SCIENCE OF SOULMATES

Natasha Waters - Edited for Metro UK by Miles Kuyer

Before we begin, it is critical that some discussion on the historical context regarding the Era Shift is initiated as to better understand the complexities arising within the studies of Soul Searching, and the concept of the soulmate bonding itself. Furthermore, I would like to point out that this paper exists only as a method of summarising and categorizing what is known, confirmed, and defined in Soul Searching. New discoveries are being made daily given the tumultuous and varying nature of the science, and so I make no attempt to tangentially comment on, or speak to, what may still be considered hypothetical or theory as these are wholly outside of my qualifications. While there is little progress in the study of how soulmate bonding came into fruition (i.e. the direct connection between ion proportion and pheromone detection), there are many things within scientific circles considered to be true and founded, and my hope is to present these to the public to act as a definitive guide on the subject.

In July of 2010, two separate sunspots were discovered on the Sun’s photosphere, each with a diameter of approximately 75,000km in what was eventually discerned to be opposite magnetic polarity. Each spot traveled at the same velocity and propulsion for two days before converging on the photosphere as one critical mass event with a spot diameter of 160,000km. While it is normal for sunspots of this size to endure for a timeframe that varies between two to seven days, this spot endured for three weeks before resulting in a coronal loop. This became the first of many small solar flares across a six month period.

In September of 2010, two other sunspots were discovered in the exact same positions, however these only had diameters of 50,000km. They followed the same trajectory before converging into a single spot with a diameter of 110,000km. The single spot endured for one week before resulting in yet another coronal loop.

In March of 2011, a coronal mass ejection of 1 × 10^25 joules was released in the position where the two sunspots had converged and decayed. This coronal mass ejection resulted in possibly the largest solar flare we had seen in three decades and reached Earth’s atmosphere in the early hours of March 27th.

Four days later, the first soulmate couple was reported on American local broadcast station Channel 5 in the state of Maryland.

Scientific circles have been able to connect the events of the solar flare to the discovery of soul mate bonding, and Soul Searching, due to the processes through which the electrons and ions were able to restructure neurological responses within the human brain. Through various methods of MRI and X-Ray technologies, we are able to state with absolute certainty that the amygdala has seemingly adapted to respond to pheromone triggers across long distances.

While it is still difficult to accurately discern which other parts of the brain have been affected, as the case study for this issue could undoubtedly be humanity itself - especially with each soul bond differing from case to case - there is confidence that the Reticular Activation System, Temporal lobes, and Limbic systems have all evolved or adapted since the solar flare of 2011.

[…]

HE STOLE HER CAR AFTER SHE LEFT HIM FOR HER SOUL MATE

[…]

Tune in TONIGHT on Channel 4 to watch The Bond, the latest reality show from the makers -

[…]

Two years after the Era Shift, many adults are still trying to adapt to the ways in which their soul bond will take effect. Not least of which are a group of individuals from Manchester who have come together as a support group after the loss of major senses.

‘I thought I was terminally ill,’ says Catherine Fisher, 30. ‘You really can’t imagine what it’s like to wake up in the morning and suddenly…everything is so grey. I’m still not used to it, really. My memories are all in colour, and I have pictures of events that I know are in colour but I can’t see them that way.’

Within the group, there are many, underlying feelings regarding the concept of the soul mate as a whole.

‘We thought it was supposed to be for the betterment of humanity, you know?’ says Daniel Goddard, 36. ‘I was married to a woman I really did love and we have a beautiful daughter, but how do you tell her mommy and daddy aren’t meant to be together? And how do you explain to your wife that you love her, but it’s not enough? And how can you tell me it’s ok I can’t hear music until I meet the person I’m supposed to be with? I know people have it worse off, really I do, but it’s sh**.’

You shut the paper with a huff and rest your head against the wall of the tube carriage, turning the volume of your music up to drown out the roar. Once again, no Sudoku puzzles. The usual page overrun by redundant soul bond news.

Two years on and still the Era Shift seemed to consume the media, the public, the world. As if this was the only thing to care about. As if love was the only newsworthy event because the lack of choice suddenly made it exciting or mysterious. People falling in and out of love made the front page just as often as a world leader or the start of a new war, and both topics make you feel uneasy and uncomfortable in equal measures.

Love has become an irresistible force and consequently, the heart is now an immovable object. Logically, neither can truly exist. Logically, a love like this should be impossible. Choice of partner has been eradicated, replaced instead with a forced paradox of biblical proportions and you can’t find it in your heart to be pleased.

Some days, admittedly, you feel you may be too ungrateful or scornful. You’ve heard the stories of those who’ve lost colour vision, the ability to hear music, the doom clock on the arm that is constantly counting down, and you know, in some way, you’ve been blessed. Ever since the flare, you’ve felt no discernible or ominous change. Your body and your mind have belonged completely to you, always, never intruded on by someone else’s thoughts or feelings and for this you are thankful.

But you feel the same. Unchanged and unmoved, you’ve yet to feel any sort of connection to humanity beyond the basic framework of how things worked before, and you almost feel as though you are the only one who’s been left behind.

You think you’re supposed to feel part of a grand design. Perhaps, you should feel an anxious sort of excitement that washes over you at whim, whenever you think about prospect or opportunity or fate. Instead, you feel nothing but a tepid neutrality that leaves you feeling bored and, truthfully, bitterly disinterested.

Your thoughts are interrupted by the sensation of being watched…admired. The hairs on your arms start to rise in knowledge and slight discomfort, and you release a quiet sigh.

You remember when tube journeys were an anonymous, rather stoic affair. Not long ago, you felt like you could fade into the sea of faces in a tube carriage, enjoying the comfortable silence that came with the ride. Now, even with your eyes closed, you can feel eyes scanning your face, searching for some kind of trigger or shock that says she’s the one. Two years ago, this kind of scrutiny would have been impolite and in poor etiquette. Lately, you’ve grown used to it and occasionally welcome it. You’re starting feel comfortable in the disappointment and distraction, sometimes luxuriating in gladness that others are just as lost as you.

As the train comes to a halt, you open your eyes and stand to depart. It’s now that you see who was looking at you, studying you with a quizzical and fascinated stare. You smile brightly, though you know this will have little result. He’s handsome, handsome in all the right ways with broad shoulders and long fingers - a musician with kind eyes, you think, and you know you’d call him your type. He smiles back, but it’s sad - for both you and him.

In another life, you’d call this a meet cute. In another life, maybe you would have slipped him your number. Today, you are strangers and today you are not soulmates, neither of you belonging to the other for any substantial amount of time. And while he will forget you, moving on to the next pretty face to find the right curves and teeth and hair, you will remember him only because he was wrong, a mistake you could have made. And you know that you would have picked him, picked him and relished the disaster of it, had you only been given the chance.

Hesitantly, you depart the train as your heart says goodbye to a man who could have been yours, in another life.

The walk to the pub from Angel station is quick, drenched in uncharacteristic sunshine and tucked away from the busy high street. It helps you recenter yourself, finding joy in the smallness and simplicity of things. Life continues on around you and in the heart of the city, you almost feel as though nothing has changed. There’s comfort here, in the obscurity of city streets and you relish the sensation of being alone with yourself.

When you arrive, Kate is already waiting for you in a corner booth near the back, and she waves at you with an awkward enthusiasm, childlike in its nature. She’s radiating joy, it’s brimming out and over from her smile and into the room, and you’re blinded on impact; she’s even ordered you a cider.

Immediately, you’re wary.

‘Hiya,’ you say, shrugging your bag off and onto the cushion between you and the wall. ‘What’s all this about, then?’

‘What do you mean?’ she asks, airily. ‘Can’t I buy you drink?’

‘Kate, you’ve literally never bought me a drink unless it was my birthday.’

She looks down at her own glass, smiling with a warm sort of shyness you haven’t seen since you first met her. It’s unlike her to be so reserved or bashful. Usually, she’s rather frank, even to the point of sometimes catching you off guard with her seemingly absent sense of tact. This is unlike her. She has something she wants to tell you, but she’s afraid of your reaction. She’s afraid of you.

‘I have some news,’ she begins, lightly.

‘Of course you do,’ you say, softly, trying to ease her into the conversation. ‘What’s so important it couldn’t wait until after my shift?’

‘I bonded last night.’

‘Oh…’

Words live in your mind and die on your tongue, dissolving before you can birth them into the atmosphere. A slight chill has wandered down your spine, settling in your bones and dropping your stomach with disappointment. For a whole minute, you forget that your surprised sigh is the only sound you’ve made.

‘Wow, that’s incredible!’ You hope this exclamation sounds excited; you’re sure that it doesn’t.

‘You don’t sound terribly enthusiastic,’ she laughs.

Anyone else, and you know they would have been upset at your reaction. Bonding is meant to be treated like engagement announcements of the past, and your lukewarm response would be considered hurtful and rude. But Kate knows you, knows everything about you down to your core, and she already expected this from you.

‘No I am, really!’ you backtrack with a laugh. ‘I just…you were like, the one friend, you know? We had the shit end of things. And now I’ve got no one to complain to.’

You’re trying to keep the mood light, lacing your tone with a playfulness you think might have been found on single women before the flare.

As usual, she cuts your words down to the heart of your sentiments.

‘You have a soulmate,’ she presses. ‘I know you do.’

This really isn’t what you wanted, changing her announcement into a debate about you and your seemingly absent soul bond. Truthfully, you’re not in the mood to discuss all the ways you seem to be excluded from a newfound sense of completeness, so you change the subject to something that interests you more.

‘Whatever,’ you say, dismissively. ‘Let me see the clock.’

Resting her right arm on the table with an awed expression, you lean forward to admire the purple-white numbers just below her skin.

23:04:16:17:04:22

Twenty-three years, four months, sixteen days, seventeen hours, four minutes, and twenty-two seconds. That’s how long it took her to find her soulmate.

Unlike many people who were fortunate enough to have a clock that counts down to finding their soulmate, Kate had received a clock that tracked how long it would take. You both found this to be one of the least helpful gifts of the solar flare, and, while it isn’t a major sensory loss, for a time you both considered this to be one of the most traumatizing.

The morning she woke up and discovered a clock beneath her skin was the first time you ever heard her cry. She’d called in a panic, her breaths falling in quick, shallow succession as her words became mangled in her sobs. Initially, she thought she had been dreaming, but the burn along her flesh was far to tangible to be fiction of the mind. Then, she thought it was a tattoo and, for a brief moment, she felt comforted. But soon, she realized she hadn’t been out the night before and, probably most horrifying of all, the numbers were moving.

They were counting, upwards and towards something, and for days all she did was watch the clock. She’d skipped classes, sat in her bathtub and watched the way the numbers made the water drops glow. After about a week of trying to figure out what it could possibly be counting to, she threatened to cut the numbers out with a kitchen knife. Screaming over the phone, she said they were driving her crazy, that the numbers haunted her even behind her eyes. She was trapped and consumed by time, and if this was what it took to find true love then she didn’t want it at all.

This was her lowest point, her lowest, darkest point, and it’s difficult to have this memory, so visceral and clear in your mind, as you watch her smile at the thing she once so deeply hated.

In the grand scheme of things, you find this to be an incredibly short period of time: to change your mind about the clock, to change your mind about your soulmate - to find your soulmate at all. It’s all happened so fast, and you’re starting to feel left behind.

Shaking your head to clear your head, you lean back and take a large drink of cider. ‘So, tell me how it happened.’

‘It was in Covent Garden actually.’

Your laugh comes out as an unsurprised bark, accidental in the magnitude of its volume. Covent Garden is her favourite part of London. This story almost sounds romanticized and predictable. ‘Of course it was.’

‘Ha ha,’ she mocks. ‘He was actually coming out of Whittard’s as I was going down to watch the string quartet, and when I saw him it was…it was like seeing stars.’

‘Stars are just lights in the sky,’ you casually remark with a shrug. ‘They aren’t really that special.’

‘I don’t mean like a standard city night sky,’ she retorts with a roll of her eyes. ‘I mean…imagine whole galaxies blooming in front of you.’

Eyes wide at this statement, you almost choke on your drink. ‘Oh, so suddenly you’re a poet?’

‘Maybe I am, now!’ she laughs.

‘So when are you seeing him?’

Her response is terribly quick.

‘Tonight actually.’

Now you do choke on your drink. ‘To-tonight? That’s so soon.’

‘I know,’ she giggles. ‘But within minutes I just wanted to do absolutely everything with him. Like, even right now I’m anxious being away from him.’

Everything about this sounds like it’s moving impossibly fast. There’s no courting, no collection of texts to prelude an actual date, no time to actually get to know one another. Perhaps because you’re the only one without the tension and anticipation of emotional connection, it makes you terribly nervous.

‘Please be careful,’ you say, seriously.

‘He’s my soulmate, not a stranger,’ she sighs.

‘I mean he kind of is.’ Your voice is colder than you intended, so you soften yourself before continuing. ‘You’ve known him, what, twenty-four hours and you’re already in this deep?’

She narrows her eyes at you, and you can feel her frankness before she even opens her mouth.

‘You know,’ she says, voice warm but stern. ‘Not long ago we would have considered this standard excitement over a cute guy. I feel like you think it’s different now because we just know we’re meant to be together.’

‘I’d still be telling you to be careful,’ you reply. ‘Especially if he was just some guy and not your soulmate.’

She takes a long sip of her drink and furrows her brow. ‘Yeah, but he is my soulmate, so I don’t think he’s going to hurt me.’

‘I just have to say it, okay?’ It almost sounds like a plea, and perhaps it is.

Her features relax into an expression of gentle understanding, her lips pulled into a sympathetic smile. Today is not the day for arguing.

‘Sometimes I don’t know why you’re so hard on the soulmate thing,’ she says, changing the subject. ‘You know, considering your parents.’

After the Era Shift, most marriages began to dissolve and shatter as nearly everyone had somehow wound up with the wrong partner. There really wasn’t a single person you knew whose family wasn’t broken because of this, except your own. Somehow, when your parents woke up affected by the solar flare, they faced each other in bed and found The One, the one they had shared a bed with for 35 years. They’d spent the morning laughing, touching, and rediscovering each other, the bond only magnifying their love for one another. This was how it was meant to be, you thought, an awakening and discovery of what was already there. It rarely worked out this way.

‘They were the minority,’ you clarify. ‘And their fate really has nothing to do with mine, you know? They had each other. You have a soulmate. I’m not even sure what I have.’

Kate sips her drink and regards you with a cool stare. She knows there’s more you want to say, and you know she’s already slightly exasperated with you. None of this is new. It’s a discussion you’ve had with her, and many of your other friends, for the past two years and you keep coming back to it like a crutch. You don’t really feel passionate about love, because you’ve been excluded from it for so long. Nor are you passionate about people, but you feel very passionately about free will and you can’t help but feel like it’s been taken from you.

‘Love is complicated,’ you concede. ‘It’s so complex and difficult, and people are always making promises to each other they can barely keep -’

‘That’s why soulmates are a thing now,’ she interjects, smoothly.

‘Okay, but it tripled divorce rates because suddenly these people weren’t meant to be together.’

‘There’s every chance those marriages would have failed along the way, regardless.’ She tries to say it as gently as she can, but it still comes out a little bit callous.

‘Yeah, but not all of them,’ you say, voice rising. ‘Those people entered into a marriage because they loved each other, and some of them would have worked through their issues or weathered that storm because they chose to. That to me is more beautiful than just knowing things are going to be ok because some kind of fate tells you it’s going to be.’

‘I get that, really I do,’ she asserts in hushed tones, trying to coax you back down. ‘But I don’t think you’re counting the fact that you’ll want to choose your soulmate. At every turn, you’ll want to choose them. And no one is saying the problems are gone. You can’t have a relationship that never, ever has an argument, but it makes it easier to forgive.’

‘You’ve literally known yours for a day and you’re already lecturing me,’ you groan, though you can’t seem to hide your laughter.

‘It comes from a place of love,’ she says dryly, reaching out to touch your hand.

You regard each other in silence for a long while, and mentally you’re already preparing for yet another loss. Soon, her time will be entirely taken up with her soulmate. If you do spend time together, it will include a person who effectively turns you into the third-wheel of a nine year friendship. It pains you to see things this way, but you’ve lived through it enough to know this is how it starts and, though you are aware of it, you’re never quite prepared for how it ends. Several of your friends and family have coupled off, their days spent in a marital bliss unlike anything you’d ever witnessed. You know that Kate will always be your friend, but you know, deep down, things will never feel like this again.

Pensive and just a little bit sad, you glance at the clock on your phone and begrudgingly start to gather your things.

‘I’ve got to head to the shop,’ you say, coming to stand and downing the last of your cider. ‘Tell me how everything goes, yeah?’

‘Will do,’ she replies, standing with you to offer you a hug.

Her embrace is warm and comforting, connected in a way you know you will soon miss. Pulling away from it is almost painful, but you give her a kiss on the cheek and tell her that everything is going to be just fine. You will be just fine.

The walk to the record shop is short and what would have been a peaceful stroll is now consumed with thoughts of Kate’s bond. You don’t like to consider yourself envious, you don’t envy her clock and you don’t really envy the fact that she’s found her soulmate, but you think you envy her ability to surrender into the dream of it all. She makes it sound and feel easy, makes it sound like something beautiful and wondrous. Sometimes you think with your guard so high and impenetrable, it’s no wonder you haven’t felt any sort of change.

Pushing open the door to Flashback Records, you’re relieved to see your favourite coworker standing behind the counter cleaning a record. You don’t often get to work with him, seeing as the market for second hand records is rather small. There’s been a slight influx of customers over the years, the advent of soul bonding seeming to make people nostalgic for the romance of tangible, physical music played from a turntable. Still, business is never busy enough to require more than one person on the till.

‘How long are you here?’ you ask, sliding behind him to get to the employees only closet.

‘Until about half-six,’ comes his reply, though he doesn’t both to look up from the record he’s cleaning. His blonde hair has fallen into his eyes, and he’s so focused on his task he doesn’t both to brush it away.

‘Nice. Looks like you’re stuck with me for three hours,’ you tease, nudging him with your hip.

‘Don’t!’ he hisses. ‘You’ll make my hand slip and scratch it.’

Rolling your eyes, you start to clock in on the till computer but you briefly become distracted. On the turntable in the back of the store, Chris has chosen to play something that sounds vaguely familiar to you. You know you’ve heard it before, perhaps with a different guitar effect or voice, but you know that you’ve heard it and you know that, at some point, it meant something very dear to you.

Part of this doesn’t feel like a memory that belongs to you, but you’re fond of the song and the way it tells a story. All at once, you think you’ve figured it out.

‘Hey, Chris, wasn’t this in Pulp Fiction?’ you ask, frozen in place at the counter.

Even as you suggest it, it feels wrong. You know it was used in the film, you’re sure of it, but this doesn’t feel like the question you want to be asking or should be asking. The song feels heavier than a soundtrack, heavier than a memory of cinema or cult fan-boy connection.

‘This is Neil Diamond,’ he snorts. ‘How do you not know this song?’

‘I know the song,’ you say quickly, frustrated. ‘Can you just answer my question.’

‘This is the original version,’ he explains, though he doesn’t sound terribly interested. ‘Urge Overkill did a cover of it that was used in Pulp Fiction.’

‘Where’s the sleeve?’ you demand.

He nods in the direction of the end of the counter, and you eagerly reach for the album sleeve. With it in your hands, you get the passing sensation of slipping, like you’ve held this exact item in your hands before, or heard this precise version or sang it to someone important. You know that you haven’t, and think maybe what you’re experiencing is a prosthetic sort of nostalgia, a nostalgia brought on by a wish for a life you could have lived.

Closing your eyes and taking a deep inhale of breath, you center yourself and, as quickly as it came, the moment passes. You decide then that you need this song in some way, need it to be close to you always, so you pull out your phone and add the album to your Spotify. Truthfully, you don’t think anything has ever been as important as this song is, right here, right now.

It’s important that you have this song with you, tonight and for every tomorrow. Important that you make it yours.

#chanyeol x reader #exo soulmate au #kpoptrashtag #exo scenarios #soulmate!au #exo fanfiction #exo ff #exo au #exo soulmate #park chanyeol fic #park chanyeol x reader #park chanyeol #exo fluff #exo angst #park chanyeol fluff #park chanyeol angst

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nothesc · 7 years ago

Text

More than words - A Yousana AU. Chapter 1

Idea explained here

All the chapters here

CHAPTER 1: SUMMER 2011-SPRING 2012

There are five holiday breaks in Norway. During those breaks kids don’t have to go to school so even if for whatever reason you don’t celebrate those festivities you still don’t have class. That makes it a good chance to go somewhere else and relax, spend time with your family, maybe even make new friends.

Five holidays breaks that go along the year.

The summer break, the biggest of them all, starts on late June and ends on August. After that, the school year begins and it’s not until late September/early October when the autumn break comes, it only lasts a week but it’s something. Then Christmas arrives, 2 weeks without going to school, 2 weeks to relax. Just like autumn has its break, winter also has one, this one takes place on late February/early March and just like the previous season’s break it lasts a week. Then finally comes Easter, every April, kids, and also teenagers of course, have a free week.

As said before, these breaks give families the best chance to spend some time together, far away from the city.

For Yousef’s family that means going to the cabin in the woods. Every year, almost every holiday, they go there. The cabin in the woods is a pretty big house with four bedrooms, not that they need the four bedrooms, and two floors. Yousef always takes the room in the attic, he loves the views and the calm that comes with it. At first Yousef loved going to the cabin but as he grows up he starts to get bored, he rather spend his breaks back in Oslo with his friends. His family rents the house for the first month of summer, the autumn break, the second half of Christmas and the first 4 days of Easter. Someone would say that the Acar family are the best costumers for that cabin, but they aren’t actually the only ones who stay a big part of their year there.

Sana’s family started to rent that house for holiday breaks before Sana had even been born. As if they were taking turns with the Acar family, though they had never met and they wouldn’t for a really long time, the Bakkoush family would stay in that cabin during the second month of summer, the first week of Christmas, the winter break and finally the last 4 days of Easter. Sana had to fight a lot with her two brothers, Abdu and Elias, to let her take the attic room. Eventually she won the battle and the room was hers. She likes being there. She has never been a very social girl. Sure, she has friends but not as many as her brothers have. In fact, she has never taken any friend to the cabin, unlike her brothers who always have guests. That may be the reason why Sana starts to dread going to the cabin, she always feels alone there.

SUMMER 2011 (11 and 13 years old)

On the summer of 2011 as Yousef had been in that cabin for almost three weeks already, he was starting to get on his nerves. He kept pacing around the room trying to think about something entertaining to do. Of course, nothing came to his mind. He was about to give up when suddenly he tripped and almost fell. When he looked down to the floor to try to find out what had made him trip he realize that there was a loose slab. He kneeled to the floor and took the slab in his hands. In the spot it had left on the floor there was a gap, big enough to hide something. For a moment he got excited, what if someone had hid something there and he was about to discover it? But the hole was empty. He was a little disappointed at first but then an idea came to his mind. What if he was the one that would hide something there? But now the question was…what should he hide? It wasn’t like he had anything he wanted to get rid of. For 15 minutes he sat on the floor looking around the room trying to think about something good. His eyes stopped in the wooden wardrobe that had a broken door. He remembered how the first time he got there that summer, three weeks ago, as he was about to open the wardrobe, the door fell and hit him in the foot. In that moment he wished someone, a previous tenant, would’ve warned him. What if he did exactly that? What if he wrote a note for the next tenant warning them about the broken door, that was a good thing to do, right?

He stood up and grabbed a notebook and a pen.

“Hello there unknown person. If you’re reading this you’ve found the loose slab on the floor and just like me you’ve been curious enough to look in the hole hoping that you’d find something. Congratulations! You found me. Sorry if I’m not what you were waiting for. But I’m actually here with a good tip. Be careful when you open the wardrobe door. Unless it gets fixed after I leave next week (it’s July 2011, just in case you don’t see this until like a million years) if you try to open it too hard it’s going to fall on your feet and hurt you, trust me, it happened to me. I don’t really know what else to say, I’m actually feeling kind of stupid for writing this when no one is probably going to see it. I’ll feel like a complete dumbass when I get back here on autumn break and find this same piece of paper with no answer on it. Anyway, at least I’ve tried. Hope your stay here is more interesting than mine, but honestly, that wouldn’t be that difficult. Well, bye!”

He folded the paper and placed it in the hole. Then he took the slab and put it back in its place. Yousef knew that he probably wouldn’t get an answer, but at least now he had a reason to look forward to his next visit to the cabin.

-x-

Sana sighed, only three more days and she finally would be back in Oslo. Not that her life was that interesting back home, but at least she didn’t have to be in the same place for a month. She was sitting on the bed looking at the floor trying to think about something that would entertain her. From her room she could hear her brothers’ laughs, they had brought some friends and were playing outside. It wasn’t like they wouldn’t let her play with them. On the contrary, Abdu and Elias always asked her if she wanted to hang out with them, but the truth was that most of the time Sana just wanted to be left alone. As she was lost in her thoughts something caught her attention. There was a slab on the floor that seemed out of place. She hadn’t noticed it before. She frowned and kneeled down. Sana took the slab and found a hole under it, big enough to hide something there. Without even thinking about it, Sana introduced her hand in the hole and tried to find something. She was about to give up when her fingers touched a piece of paper. She took it and unfolded it eagerly. There was a message, a short message from a previous tenant, and they had been there almost at the same time as her –the note said it was July 2011 and now it was August-. She looked at her wounded foot as she read the part about the broken wardrobe door. It had fallen on her foot the first night there. As she finished reading she thought for a moment. Should she answer? What if it was a psychopath trying to get her attention? But it really didn’t look like it and she didn’t have to reveal any fact about herself to answer. Besides, that person had tried to warn her about the door, the polite thing to do was to say thanks, right?

She grabbed a pen from her desk and started writing.

“Hi! How are you? Well, I guess it doesn’t make much sense to ask you that. It’s August 2032 here, guess it’s been awhile since you wrote that letter…Kidding!! It’s August 2011 so just a few weeks after you left, I guess? I just wanted to thank you for the tip even though I read this note way too late. Me and my wounded foot say hi to you. Since you gave me a tip, I’ll give you another. I don’t know when you’ll be back, if you’ll be back, but a word of advice? Don’t sleep with your window opened in summer, the mosquitoes will kill you. I’ve been bitten so badly this summer and I only slept with my window opened one night. At least next time I’ll be here it’ll be during Christmas break so I won’t have to worry about them, right? Well, I guess that’s pretty much what I wanted to tell you. Thanks again for the tip and don’t feel stupid, you got your answer ;)”

AUTUMN 2011 (11 and 14 years old)

To say that Yousef had spent the rest of the summer thinking about the possibility of him finding an answer to his note when he’d come back to the cabin would be a lie. Being honest he had pretty much forgotten about it as soon as he had arrived back to Oslo.

But when September came and it was time for him to go back to the cabin he found himself thinking about that every day.

As soon as he stepped into the cabin that autumn the first thing he did was run to his bedroom and close the door. He sat on the floor and took a deep breath before taking the loose slab in his hands. His heart beat fast in his chest as he introduced his hand in the hole and picked up the paper. He unfolded and grinned widely when he saw that his handwriting wasn’t the only one in the paper, someone had answered.

He laughed a little while reading it and as soon as he ended he grabbed a pen and wrote an answer

“I’m sorry to hear about your foot! Hope it’s okay now. And yeah I got bitten by the mosquitoes too, guess our blood is really tasty hahah…Okay that was a lame joke. Sorry!. To be honest I wasn’t expecting a reply, I guess we all get bored here in the cabin, right? By the way, I’m also going to be back here for Christmas…hmmm…I wonder how that will work. Guess we’ll know in a few months. Thank you for your answer and I hope you have a good autumn!”

CHRISTMAS 2011 (12 and 14 years old)

“I’m always here the first week of Christmas. We don’t celebrate Christmas in my family so we like to get away from the city. But on the second week we go back and spend some time with the rest of the family. A word of advice? When you come here next week don’t sleep with your window opened, you won’t get bitten by mosquitoes but you will literally freeze. Oh and by the way, yeah your joke was kind of lame but I’ve heard them worse, so don’t worry”

-x-

“Oh, I see, I’m always here the second week of Christmas. It’s pretty much the same with my family but in reverse order. We spend the week with the family and then we come here for the second week and celebrate New Year’s Eve here, exciting…I know. And of course I won’t sleep with my window opened! It’s December, do you think I’m crazy??? Oh and thanks for being nice about the joke but you shouldn’t be that nice, you’ll make me think that it’s okay to say lame jokes and you’ll never hear the end of it. Happy New Year by the way! I guess this question doesn’t make much sense but…when do you come back?”

WINTER BREAK 2012 (12 and 14 years old)

“Happy new year to you too!! I’m back here again! (it’s winter break, 2012) Well in that case I hate your lame jokes please don’t make one like that again! (jk, it wasn’t that bad). And hey, I was just trying to prevent you from getting frozen but okay…girl? Boy?...I just realized I don’t really know anything about you. Maybe you could tell me something, like your age for example? Please tell me you’re not a 40 years old man, that’d be creepy. I don’t want you to tell me your name though, I like the anonymous thing, it’s interesting and it feels safe, if you know what I mean. I’ll be back on the last four days of Easter, hope there’s an answer when I come back”

EASTER 2012 (12 and 14 years old)

“I’m not a 40 years old man!! I’m 38! Haha just kidding, another lame joke. I’m a 14 years old boy actually. And I agree with you with the anonymous thing, I think it’s better if we don’t know much about each other’s personal life, it’s more interesting this way. By the way I’m here for the first 4 days of Easter so I guess you’ll come back after I leave. It feels as if we were taking turns to be in the cabin hahah. Guess it was destiny that we would meet…well not meet, but talk.”

-x-

“Ufff, I feel a lot better now. I’m a 12 years old girl, yeah yeah, I’m a little kid whatever…I’m sure I’m more mature than you. I actually think that I saw your car leaving when I got here? A nice white car? You know what? Forget about it, we’re trying to be anonymous here, we can’t know which kind of car we have either…I guess? So I won’t be back until summer, will you be here like last year?? I pretty much come the same dates every year so I guess now you know when I’ll be here. What about you? Was this year an exception or is it the rule? And yes I guess destiny was trying to make us meet…write…whatever. I’ll read you on summer!”

---------x-------

Well this is the first chapter!!

I really hope you’ve liked it

I’ll tag all the chapters with “more than words au” and I’ll also post it on ao3 in case someone prefers to read it there

Thank you so much for reading and I hope it wasn’t confusing with so many time jumps

#skam #yousana #more than words au #nothesc au

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